i MuSt FiNd ThE pErFeCt SpOoN.

2006-10-06T02:22:00.000Z

Weird night last night. I end up getting chatted up by an ugly chick feeling sorry for me, who invites me over to sit down with her friends (all looking like total assholes), a smile from the nutcase half chinese chick who's been blanking me for months, Joe and Rob both go home with girls (weirdest thing ever), I have a good laugh with two random girls and end up escorting their bawling-her-eyes-out Goth chick friend (who Raph was getting it on with, and incidentally was totally ratarsed along with the guys) back to her flat with her wearing my godamned hoody all the way back so I froze my ass off for a good hour and a half (her friends just walked back, leaving me with her).

There's a name for guys like me.

Suckers.

2006-10-01T20:04:00.000Z

Am currently enjoying Terry Pratchett's 'The Colour of Magic', and besides making me laugh on a crowded train (for which I can forgive it) its great. Just a quote coz I can't resist putting something in.

'On the whole, the unpleasant carvings and occasional disjointed skeletons he passed held no fears for Hrun. This was partly because he was not exceptionally bright while being at the same time exceptionally unimaginative, but it was also because odd carvings and perilous tunnels were all in a day's work. He spent a great deal of time in similar situations, seeking gold or demons or distressed virgins and relieving them respectively of their owners, their lives and at least one cause of their distress.'

Fantastic writer.

2006-09-29T06:25:00.000Z

Well the weekend was an eye opener. I realised that my parents don't know me. They don't know my life. What I feel, what I do, who I am. I've kept myself seperate from family for all these years. My fault, but why? Why do I have to keep everything from them? Dad came close to bringing me to tears infront of him. He was that close to the truth. Yet I don't know why I can't be honest with them. What scares me is that it'll be too late before they know anything. Then Gran phoned and I escaped then broke down in my room. Then they backed off, because I was too much of a pussy and couldn't take it. When what really needed to happen was them to keep pushing, maybe that would have fixed things. And I still have no idea why. I'm beginning to think maybe I do have actual issues. To think that people could love you for your actual personality and self, instead of incidentally. How much better would life be.

They have no idea why I failed the year. Granted, neither do I. But they deserve to know whats going on in my life, how I feel about things, who I am. Thats the right of a parent, its what you have kids for. I'm a terrible son. I take their money and time, I make them worried like hell (I'm scared of my Gran or Dad getting sick sometimes because of me). Dad couldn't sleep or work properly all last week. Yet I give them nothing back. Nothing. They'd do anything for me, but I can't even be honest with them, or even call them ever. I must come off as such an ungrateful prick. I don't call my sisters. I haven't heard from Jo in months. Last time I tried, I couldn't talk to her either. I didn't know her. I really am a total asshole. I hate me.

Thing is, I'm still too chicken shit to talk to them about anything deeper than what I made for dinner. Why? The hell is wrong with me?

Heh, this is the kinda shit my tutor said I should go to counselling about. He says that I should go to counselling just to show the commitee people that I've 'sought help' so they can be all like 'Aww, at least he's trying, lets let him in'. Sigh. Maybe I should. Scared of getting emotional around the welfare person I guess (plus she's pretty hot). And what they gonna do about it?

Holy shit a reasonably coherent blog about what I was feeling. Wow. I am *really* interested as to what I'd talk about if I were stoned, if I sound like this sober minded. What a nut job. Don't you hate that when you read back your blog entries. But its all true, so its there.

Anyway, enough. Later <3

P.S. Lol, that first paragraph really makes me sound like I'm coming out of the closet. Excellent XD. Incidentally I'm not, fag. Another time maybe ;)

2006-09-29T06:20:00.000Z

Wow, I have a week and a half to convince four people and myself that I'm optimistic, positive, happy, have made significant changes in my mental state and work ethic and am raring to get my proverbial teeth stuck into my metaphorical work. Er, actual work. Oh and I have to plead forgiveness and a second chance.

Boy, am I screwed.

2006-09-06T21:19:00.000Z

God I splooge myself whenever I read 'The Raven'. Heres the last verse:

And the Raven, never flitting, still is sitting, still is sitting
On the pallid bust of Pallas just above my chamber door;
And his eyes have all the seeming of a demon's that is dreaming,
And the lamplight o'er him streaming throws his shadow on the
floor;
And my soul from out that shadow that lies floating on the floor
Shall be lifted- nevermore!

The guys a genius. Pallid bust of Pallas makes me faint daintily.

2006-09-06T20:50:00.000Z

Blackadder rules. Heres some quotes from episode 5, series 2:

Percy: I must say Edmund, it was jolly nice of you to ask me to share your breakfast with you before the rigours of the day begin.
Blackadder: Well it is said, Percy, that civilised man seeks out good and intelligent company so through a learn of discourse, he may rise above the savage and be closer to God.
Percy : Yes I've heard that.
Blackadder: Personally, however I like to start the day with a total dickhead
to remind me I'm best.

Blackadder: My Aunt and Uncle Lord and Lady Whiteadder, the two most fanatical puritans in England have invited themselves to dinner here tonight.
Percy: But aren't they the most frightful bores?
Blackadder: Yep, but they have one redeeming feature: their wallets. More copacious than an elephants scrotum and just as difficult to get your hands around.

Blackadder: Not good enough, you're fired.
Baldrick: But my Lord, I've been in your family since 1532.
Blackadder: So has syphillis, now get out.

Fantastic.

2006-08-26T10:18:00.000Z

Aha an old favourite, now rediscovered: the dragon dooooes...

2006-08-25T03:49:00.000Z

Hokay, my 9 internet explorer pages up tonight are (besides this one, smartass)
Kabbalah
The Hard Facts about Satanic Ritual Abuse
Cthulhu
The Collapse of the Roman Empire
Accessory muscles of respiration
Battlefield 2 Dogfight tactics
Webturd BF2 Jet Guide
Air Combat 4b (from a site about jet combat)
You tube - Buakaw vs Sun Tao (sadly, it seems that many of the other kickboxing videos that I had on favourites before were removed because the companies selling the DVDs or whatever found out and said they were used without permission...psht. Useless.)

No porn! Honest!

PS - speaking of which, http://nationallampoon.com/index.php?option=com_jambozine&layout=article&view=page&aid=44&Itemid=32
PS + 1 - Oh yeah Firth's first animation since forever: jabba

2006-08-21T04:15:00.000Z

Damn Im such a loser. I've been conspiracy unravelling since 9pm -.-. Might post some stuff in the near future, not sure. Depends if I can recall my tracks from this evening or not really.

Just don't expect anything too serious (or they'll try to kill me). Ahahah. *gulp* O_O

Edit: And for the record, its 5:14 AM, not 4:14 as stated. ;).
Edit: Back again, just to mention that I have 22 IE pages up. O_o

2006-08-16T01:55:00.000Z

As an aside from Jimmys most recent post, and partly because of Aidy's newfound conspiracy stirring, and if you have the time and intrigue, you may want to research a little into the Illuminati. Normally I'd be having a laugh, coz Aidy sparked a realisation that everything we buy is feeding the will of Satan, and the cool concept of an ancient temple where Satanists practice underneath the Vatican has made me think how awesome it would be if there was one under St.Pauls Cathedral, which I look at alot considering its a minute down the road. Apparently practicing Satanists leave a space at the table for Satan. How awesome. I leave six tables at my dinner table which are always vacant, usually because I never eat at the table. Oh and as Aidy lovingly put it, because I 'have no friends'. Charming lad really. So you know, any deities or anything else are always welcome at Jim's.

Anyway I'm feeling kind of er, what is it, hollow and defeatist. Something like that. I'm terrified of the future, all kinds of things. The realisation that I don't know what I'm living for, what I'm doing, where I'm going. I have no dreams. I'm empty. I feel this way every day, although I don't realise how bad that is in the bigger picture, and most times I can't be bothered, don't care to, or can't articulate it. Oh well. I'm reluctant to post shit like this, but why not. Just don't leave comments. Why do I try to plan everything out, when I never live up to it? What the hell is wrong with me. Why can't I do anything about it. Why do I always have to fight against myself? Why do I do this to myself? Thats how I'm feeling, better go listen to shitty kerrang radio on TV until I pass out again.

Maybe I just need to get laid. Infact I've had the (mis?) fortune to see a film with Jenni Love Hewitt (probs a slut anyway, but whatever) and the advert for a film with Winona Ryder in (whom I adore <3. Hell, if she gothed up a bit I'd consider doing her). Enjoy your holidays.

PS For the record, Kerrang is bullshit, they have the 'rock and roll' idea and pseudo-attitude, but as usual, they're pop sellouts. Disappointing. Chat up Clive makes me laugh though, if anyone knows what I'm talking about. Anyway, if that Blink182 song or any of that other crap is on again I'm gonna slit my gizzard with a shard of the true cross. Ouch. And two other dreams I remember from talking with Aidy today, where I've been shot in the face, and survived with a caved in face, blind, and feeling the hot metal lodged in my head and the hot rush of blood filling in the spaces. I woke up still with the feeling, strangely. Another one was drowning until you feel the water fill your lungs. This was attached to a bigger dream, I only remember that bit because we watched something on TV that had a woman drowning and it reminded me. Bear in mind these were ages ago :). The shot face one was pretty cool. Feeling felt like it lasted a while after I woke up then dissipated. Badass. Maybe an iron fell on my face when I was asleep and I didnt notice and just like healed real fast or something. Psht. Waddaya know I feel a little weight lifted now, maybe that was good for me. God knows why.

2006-07-21T18:35:00.000Z

Third day in a row, IN YOUR FACE!

Anyway just here to tell you some more of my dreams from last night, coz the rents are out getting food.

Okay so the first one is in my place in essex and we're all there, and everyones totally naked. Then we go out into the garden and you all sodomize my ducks and I'm like 'WTF are you doing you filthy noobs' but I'm speaking in tongues. Then I lay a huge duck egg and my testicles spontaneously pop. Then I wake up.

Yeah, that one may be bullshit but heres the two real ones:
So we're all in my place in essex, and we're in the old front room, and then Jimmy comes through from the kitchen with a tray of cups of tea and I'm a bit crazy and I'm shouting at him like 'JIMMY WTF ARE YOU DOING' and stuff then I go right up to him and he's like 'Have I got like a cut on my neck', and he puts his head back and his whole throat is slit from side to side and really deep but its sort of hollow inside and theres no blood at all and the anatomy inside is all fucked up. Reminded me of an anatomy doll thing but messed up. Anyway so I'm like 'SHIT.' (im still shouting in his face) then I grab him by the shoulders and I'm like 'JIMMY DONT PANIC. CALM DOWN.' Then I run back over to where Prill is sitting and I'm like 'Prill, you have any like, sewing thread?' and shes like 'No'. So then I'm all 'WTF, why havent you got any ><' and I stomp upstairs to find some, then I find some and come downstairs then we argue whether we should suture his neck shut or just take him to a hospital (and who should do it if we did suture it).

Second dream (I think this was before the last one but whatever):
Im sitting on some sort of lawn chair on some grass and its kinda dark out or something coz I cant see that far away from the chair. Two little cute squirrels appear and come over to me and start eating nuts and stuff off the ground and I'm like 'Aww'. Then some sort of diseased, blind mouse staggers past and the squirrels start attacking it so they can eat it, they need to kill it first but they cant really bite it to kill it so they end up shoving it and hitting it and stuff. Then it comes near my foot and I'm like 'Eww' and kick it and it goes further out, and the squirrels stay at it. Then finally I get a knife and slit the mouses belly open and the squirrels start hauling out its guts.

Anyone who can interpret those will be rewarded handsomely.

2006-07-21T05:02:00.000Z

Holy shit posting for a second night in a row?! No wai!!!

Dad made a funny today. We were playing some racket-ball game thing inside the house and having a laugh, he smacked the ball away and it went on the floor for like the millionth time and I was like 'stop making me bend over!' (coz I had an achey back =( ) and Dad says 'and fill me crevice'. Naturally, I was like 'WTF did you say? :s' and he was like 'Two Scottish homosexuals - Ben Doon and Phil McRevis' so then I was all like /rofl, and asked him if he had any more and hes like 'Two Irish homosexuals - John Fitzpatrick and Patrick Fitzjohn'. More roflage ensued. I think I collapsed when the ball fell on the ground for the millionth and first time. Good times.

Anyway, very astute comments from WillP on the last post. Maybe you're right. I can't stop thinking about womenfolk at the moment. So fucking annoying. Go to bed yearning for one (or a couple), wake up the same, go about the day being teased and tormented by every cute ass that wanders by. I was just tortured by 3 really hot girls at this restaurant, then on the way home to make matters worse theres this big hawaiian party thing out on the beach with topless guys and bikini clad girls prancing about playing grabass in the breaking waters under the setting sun. Bastards. Thinking about that look you get right when you're in bed with a chick atm. You know that look you get where you're sort of on top and looking down into their eyes with their hair messed up and over the pillow and theyre looking up at you. That intimate look. Yeah thats the one. That always gets me ><.

Finally getting my first exercise for the year. Tennis, boarding, swimming, golfing, biking along the beach track. Feels great. Got my appetite back now too. Woot. Need to buff up. Neighbours hot grandchicks coming over next week.

Ah yes and I was discussing the idea of wearing kilts for my sisses wedding with Da =D. Thatll be awesome. Being part Scot does come with its advantages as it turns out. Kilts rule. Plus I'll get a dirk XD. Oh shit, and a sporran too. And I'll get myself a tankard and some ale and I'll have the roast mutton infront of me and I'll be eating it off the bone and swigging my ale and generally being awesome. And I'll say stuff like 'I'd crush you...like a wyrrm!'and people will think I'm being serious coz I'll be totally decked out by then and I'll have my badass kilt on and the beginnings of a manly ginger beard and they'll crap themselves in terror, and I'll go raping and pillaging all the little villages around my place and hoard the booty in my castle which I'll have built inside my moat, which I'll dig by hand (which I'll do in advance to deck me out), then I'll procure some Irish wolfhounds to throw my scraps to. And serving wenches. Lots of serving wenches. Really hot, easy ones. Then I guess I'll call a council of my loyal thanes and retainers (thats the Kr3w members who aren't in foreign lands ruling over my provinces and supplying me with fresh hot, easy wenches, a steady supply of mutton and ale, and Irish wolfhounds (and wolves, come to think of it, and a few bears)). Oh and then we'll go off raping and pillaging some more, as any good man should be doing in the prime of his life, instead of bookwork. And then we'll sit around a roaring fire eating mutton and drinking ale and telling tales of our bravery and deeds in battle, and how many women we've screwed (which'll be thousands) and how much loot we plundered. And of course the obligatory Robs Mum comments XD.

End. Tell me you love me.

2006-07-19T19:19:00.000Z

Had an awesome dream I'd like to share, can't be arsed to write it out properly since bloggers being a slow bastard so ill just post a convo with Jimbo and pick out what i can find. Its about an ancient demonic relic of pure evil that I dig up along with some animal figurines XD hee

Mr.Branches says:
hey
Mr.Branches says:
s'happenin
Jimmy says:
stuff
Mr.Branches says:
hottest waitresses ever few nights ago
Jimmy says:
i'm justa bummin' around
Mr.Branches says:
mmm
Jimmy says:
hehe
Mr.Branches says:
all of them were so fine
Jimmy says:
hottest tesco checkout girl ever this afternoon
Mr.Branches says:
there was like
Mr.Branches says:
5 of them
Mr.Branches says:
orly
Jimmy says:
ooooh
Jimmy says:
how many have you gotten with so far then
Mr.Branches says:
I had such a badass dream last night
Mr.Branches says:
considering blogging it
Mr.Branches says:
hm
Jimmy says:
do it! before you forget
Mr.Branches says:
my fonts really fecked up
Jimmy says:
i've forgotten what my dreams where the past 2 nights
Mr.Branches says:
ooh a message from horny sara saying 'do you want a fuck buddy.'
Jimmy says:
had some sexual ones too, which i don't often get
Mr.Branches says:

Mr.Branches says:
lol as if
Jimmy says:
text?
Jimmy says:
^^
Mr.Branches says:
mine ended sexually but I think she was ugly so I woke up

*skipping some*

Mr.Branches says:
well
Mr.Branches says:
it er
Mr.Branches says:
includes a demonic relic of untold power
Jimmy says:
hahaha
Mr.Branches says:
and two small carved animal figurines
Jimmy says:
we're not talking about your penis this time are we?
Mr.Branches says:
rofl
Jimmy says:
go on
Mr.Branches says:
no
Jimmy says:
awwww
Mr.Branches says:
its an ancient evil relic
Mr.Branches says:
like
Mr.Branches says:
some sort of key
Jimmy says:
well you'd damn well better blog it
Mr.Branches says:
but a key to what, I never had answered
Jimmy says:
i see
Mr.Branches says:
but even so
Mr.Branches says:
even though i didnt know what it unlocked, it still had power
Mr.Branches says:
vast
Mr.Branches says:
power
Jimmy says:
mhm
Mr.Branches says:
the kind of power that corrupts utterly
Mr.Branches says:
anyway
Mr.Branches says:
so I was a bit troubled by this, of course
Jimmy says:
so that explains your behaviour eh
Jimmy says:
k
Mr.Branches says:
so the dream ends with me like
Mr.Branches says:
well a few of us
Mr.Branches says:
sitting in the middle of this old battlefield
Mr.Branches says:
rubble on teh ground
Mr.Branches says:
dust and splintered wood and rock
Mr.Branches says:
noone around apart from us, who are sitting in like
Mr.Branches says:
pristine seats
Mr.Branches says:
sort of like a cinema
Jimmy says:
lol
Mr.Branches says:
but not cinema seats
Mr.Branches says:
just that kind of cloth material
Jimmy says:
mk
Mr.Branches says:
four legged chairs
Mr.Branches says:
red cloth
Mr.Branches says:
anyway
Jimmy says:
four legged?!?
Jimmy says:
devil talk.
Mr.Branches says:
and we're talking about something
Mr.Branches says:
but
Mr.Branches says:
cant remember what
Mr.Branches says:
it was to do with this key
Jimmy says:
interesting
Mr.Branches says:
and its power
Mr.Branches says:
and it was like making me so fucked up that I couldnt speak
Mr.Branches says:
then this girl like
Mr.Branches says:
does some stuff
Jimmy says:
stuff eh
Mr.Branches says:
and Im like woah when you distract me with sexual stuff I can talk about it
Jimmy says:
lol
Mr.Branches says:
so shes like Okay well I'll give you a blowjob and maybe you wont be so scared
Mr.Branches says:
or something
Jimmy says:
rofl
Jimmy says:
how convenient
Mr.Branches says:
then she gets on my lap and starts grinding on my crotch
Mr.Branches says:
then I wake up
Jimmy says:
wish my dreams were as awesome
Jimmy says:
awww
Jimmy says:
and it's actually yo mama? ^^
Mr.Branches says:
rofl
Mr.Branches says:
no
Mr.Branches says:
anyway all the characters are original
Jimmy says:
k
Jimmy says:
OHHHH
Mr.Branches says:
and the story, as far as I can tell
Jimmy says:
omg
Jimmy says:
i remember one of my dreams now
Mr.Branches says:
I think my mum was in it earlier though
Jimmy says:
go on
Mr.Branches says:
when i dug up the relics
Jimmy says:
kk
Mr.Branches says:
your turn
Mr.Branches says:
ill write it up properly

Okay, the dream from the beginning ^^

Mr.Branches says:
it starts out with me as a kid
Jimmy says:
mk
Mr.Branches says:
or the person i was looking through
Mr.Branches says:
anyway
Mr.Branches says:
for some reason which i WISH i could remember
Mr.Branches says:
because its quite important to the plot
Mr.Branches says:
I stab myself in the heart with some sort of
Mr.Branches says:
rod
Mr.Branches says:
short and silver
Mr.Branches says:
not a knife
Jimmy says:
lol
Mr.Branches says:
like a stake
Mr.Branches says:
but
Mr.Branches says:
rod shaped
Jimmy says:
and you survive, ofc
Mr.Branches says:
well yeah
Jimmy says:
mk
Mr.Branches says:
and I dig up some weird things
Mr.Branches says:
oh yeah
Mr.Branches says:
the carved animals
Mr.Branches says:
and this was a bit weird
Mr.Branches says:
if you channel it right
Mr.Branches says:
or use these things right
Mr.Branches says:
you can make a target act like the animal;
Mr.Branches says:
the ones I dug up were like a gorilla
Jimmy says:
wouldn't be much of a dream if you didn't - you stab yourself in the heart, the end.
Jimmy says:
kk
Mr.Branches says:
and like godzilla
Mr.Branches says:
some dinosaur lizard thing
Jimmy says:
lol
Mr.Branches says:
anyway
Mr.Branches says:
so theres this person
Jimmy says:
did you master them?
Mr.Branches says:
and i use the gorilla one, he turns into a fucked up gorilla
Mr.Branches says:
they go mental too - violent, blood thirsty etc
Mr.Branches says:
then i use the lizard one, same sort of thing
Mr.Branches says:
then what was cool was you could combine them
Jimmy says:
i wouldn't expect otherwise
Jimmy says:

Mr.Branches says:
so the guys like a gorilla / godzilla thing
Jimmy says:
to make someone act like an uber gorilla godzilla?
Mr.Branches says:
yeah
Mr.Branches says:
totally
Mr.Branches says:
and
Mr.Branches says:
somehow I got ht eimpression that there were tonnes of these other animals
Mr.Branches says:
all over the place
Mr.Branches says:
but i only found two
Jimmy says:
more idols you mean?
Mr.Branches says:
yeah
Mr.Branches says:
animal things
Jimmy says:
yuh k
Jimmy says:
mhm
Mr.Branches says:
but the demonic thing was
Mr.Branches says:
awesome
Mr.Branches says:
like
Mr.Branches says:
pure corrupting evil
Mr.Branches says:
dunno how to explain it
Jimmy says:
nothing but the best then
Mr.Branches says:
lol
Mr.Branches says:
ofc
Mr.Branches says:
argh
Mr.Branches says:
you dont understand
Mr.Branches says:
like in the dream what i was feeling was pure utter evil
Mr.Branches says:
I woke up with my heart beating real fast
Mr.Branches says:
it was badass
Jimmy says:
hehe
Jimmy says:
kewl
Mr.Branches says:
sort of like the ring in lotr but not for kids
Jimmy says:
lol
Mr.Branches says:
bah
Mr.Branches says:
had to be there
Mr.Branches says:
why werent you dammit
Mr.Branches says:
anyway I dont understand the power of this key thing
Mr.Branches says:
or how to use it
Mr.Branches says:
but we made it work
Mr.Branches says:
somehow
Mr.Branches says:
it worked on its own maybe
Jimmy says:
well youuu always have random people in your dreams, not my fault eh
Jimmy says:
kk
Jimmy says:
what happened?
Mr.Branches says:
well im not sure what it did exactly
Mr.Branches says:
as i said
Mr.Branches says:
but
Mr.Branches says:
theres one scene where
Mr.Branches says:
im in like first person looking down at this scene
Mr.Branches says:
and
Mr.Branches says:
its like a yellow hazy dream world
Mr.Branches says:
well no its like reality but in a dreamy yellow haze
Mr.Branches says:
thing
Mr.Branches says:
you get what i mean
Mr.Branches says:
anyway
Jimmy says:
k
Mr.Branches says:
theres a guy and a girl that are with me in there
Mr.Branches says:
but theyre down below
Mr.Branches says:
in a street
Jimmy says:

Mr.Branches says:
like sicily or some place
Jimmy says:
k
Mr.Branches says:
and it looks like theres a bunch of these mob guys in suits
Mr.Branches says:
at a table outside this restaurant place
Mr.Branches says:
narrow cobble streets with high buildings on either side
Mr.Branches says:
and
Mr.Branches says:
some box or something near the table
Mr.Branches says:
and the guys in the dream with me
Jimmy says:
ooooooh
Jimmy says:
well i can tell where some inspiration's come from here
Mr.Branches says:
somehow plant some explosive thing on the box
Mr.Branches says:
but they cant be seen
Mr.Branches says:
noone notices them
Mr.Branches says:
and the other one
Jimmy says:
clever
Mr.Branches says:
kills a guy in a window
Mr.Branches says:
inside the restaurant
Mr.Branches says:
like shoots him with one of their guns or something
Mr.Branches says:
and then the bomb goes off
Mr.Branches says:
and kills half the mob guys
Jimmy says:
this is your future job when you marry that italian chick
Mr.Branches says:
and the mob guys and the other mob guys inside the restaurant have a gunfight
Mr.Branches says:
and everyone dies
Jimmy says:
btw
Mr.Branches says:
rofl
Mr.Branches says:
but then it zooms out
Mr.Branches says:
and its like im looking from a flat window
Mr.Branches says:
out onto the street
Jimmy says:
what's happened to the demonic trinkey?
Mr.Branches says:
and i go back inside
Mr.Branches says:
getting to that
Jimmy says:
k
Jimmy says:
kk
Mr.Branches says:
and
Mr.Branches says:
somehow its like
Jimmy says:
*gets another grolsch*
Mr.Branches says:
the scene i just watched is playing on tv
Mr.Branches says:
or something
Mr.Branches says:
and the demonic thingey is on the floor
Mr.Branches says:
and I try to cover it up with a t shirt
Mr.Branches says:
well, I do
Mr.Branches says:
but it doesnt get us out of this dream thing
Mr.Branches says:
where people are still fighting outside
Jimmy says:
but it's powers can penetrate a t-shirt?
Mr.Branches says:
rofl
Mr.Branches says:
shutup
Mr.Branches says:
so I turn off the TV
Mr.Branches says:
and it returns to the real world
Jimmy says:
hehe
Mr.Branches says:
but whatevers happend has actually happend in real life
Jimmy says:
i see
Mr.Branches says:
dunno
Mr.Branches says:
maybe the demonic thing turns you into a spirit form or something
Mr.Branches says:
where you can do shit and noone can see or touch you
Mr.Branches says:
and you can control stuff
Jimmy says:
aha
Mr.Branches says:
dunno
Mr.Branches says:
I understood when i was in there
Jimmy says:
how handy
Mr.Branches says:
yeah
Jimmy says:
as you do, when you're in dreamworld
Mr.Branches says:
anyway then i was all like holy shit this thing could be seriously powerful
Mr.Branches says:
then I realise that I could have that power
Mr.Branches says:
then im like shit, no!
Mr.Branches says:
then i cant remember some other stuff happens
Mr.Branches says:
before I know it im on that battlefield place
Mr.Branches says:
in those seats
Mr.Branches says:
in the yellow haze again
Jimmy says:
ooooh pigeon
Mr.Branches says:
hm?
Mr.Branches says:
but yeah I woke up with that feeling of like holy shit this things pure evil
Mr.Branches says:
heart beating n all
Mr.Branches says:
it was awesome

Jimmy says:
hehe k
Jimmy says:
mmm i love dreams when you wake up like that
Mr.Branches says:
oh yeah
Mr.Branches says:
but that heart thing
Mr.Branches says:
made it so I had a weak heart
Mr.Branches says:
and it kept screwing up later in the dream
Mr.Branches says:
dont remember when though
Jimmy says:
wait what heart thing?
Mr.Branches says:
well i stabbed myself through the heart didnt I
Mr.Branches says:
for some reason
Mr.Branches says:
it needed to be done
Jimmy says:
your heart kept screwing up?
Mr.Branches says:
yeah
Jimmy says:
ohhhh yeah
Jimmy says:
lol
Jimmy says:
i'm sure you wouldn't have managed to get the demonic thingybob if you hadn't
Mr.Branches says:
that was teh significance later on
Jimmy says:
probs when you got a bj
Mr.Branches says:
well yeah something to do with that
Mr.Branches says:
rofl
Mr.Branches says:
shaddap
Jimmy says:
weak heart, you know
Mr.Branches says:
maybe the chick was some naughty spirit
Mr.Branches says:
or demon
Mr.Branches says:
trying to do stuff
Mr.Branches says:
or something
Mr.Branches says:
those other ones certainly seemed rather naughty
Mr.Branches says:
creating a big gunfight
Jimmy says:
lol
Mr.Branches says:
maybe it turns you evil too
Mr.Branches says:
who knows
Mr.Branches says:
I wanna know what it unlocks though
Jimmy says:
lol
Mr.Branches says:
I wonder if when you go into a coma you dream all the time
Mr.Branches says:
thatd be awesome
Mr.Branches says:
one long uninterrupted dream life
Jimmy says:
probs
Mr.Branches says:
full of crazy shit
Jimmy says:
you believe the out of body thing?
Jimmy says:
experience
Mr.Branches says:
dunno
Jimmy says:
well depends what happens in it
Mr.Branches says:
but like you could have all sorts of crazy demonic or vampire or dragon shit going down
Mr.Branches says:
or whatever you wanted
Mr.Branches says:
or whatever popped up
Mr.Branches says:
i still remember my other cool dreams
Mr.Branches says:
the vampire one and the sword fighting one
Jimmy says:
*jealous*
Jimmy says:
wtf
Mr.Branches says:
??
Mr.Branches says:
I did have shitloads of cheese before bed
Jimmy says:
how do you have / remember such dreams
Jimmy says:
/e sobs.
Mr.Branches says:
lol
Jimmy says:
i have shitloads before bed EVERY BLOODY NIGHT
Mr.Branches says:
lol
Jimmy says:
doesn't do anything for me
lol
Mr.Branches says:
yea
Mr.Branches says:
suppose I must have woken up coz of something
Mr.Branches says:
I did need a whizz
Mr.Branches says:
and I had a huge uncomfy erection digging into the bed
Jimmy says:
well i wouldn't say mine are boring... just they don't seem very long
Jimmy says:
they just are when it's happening
Jimmy says:
lol k
Jimmy says:
maybe i should drink loads before bed then
Jimmy says:
haha
Mr.Branches says:
lol ya

And thats it, if it didnt make sense dont worry :P

2006-06-05T11:02:00.000Z

Hahahahahahaha crazy bible thumpers.
Oh my, there are actually people out there like that. Scary isnt it. Funny though.

2006-06-05T08:01:00.000Z

Got some time to waste? No? Neither do I. Here http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/237318

Funny artist. Might post some other good ones. But probably not, knowing me.

I feel bad. Again.

2006-05-06T02:31:00.000Z

So I'm hanging around outside the bank in Orgrimmar, and theres these two hot Undead magettes playing around on their skeletal horsies, so I'm like 'Aaaall right' and smooth my hair back and play it cool. I'm all like 'Hey you ladies are *fine*, how'd you like to ride something with a bit more meat on it? /wink' and the *slightly hotter one* says 'How about you go and level up and actually get some meat on you' and her *slightly less hot* friend did a /giggle at me to which I walked off sullenly back to the inn. That, my friends, is how art imitates life. Pow. Shot down.

/cry

EDIT: At least I got a good look down their tops from the roof of the bank afterwards hehe XD

2006-04-25T02:49:00.000Z

Oh how I wish that something could fall from the sky and bury me without a trace...like the Monty Python foot or something. What the fuck am I doing.

2005-09-08T15:37:00.000Z

Ah, why hello there. I know its been a long time, and believe me I WANTED to blog but...well I got the EU version of WoW, and well you know...

Anyway just to cheer your souls I thought I'd do some artwork inspired by a movie that was on sky a little while ago which I saw a bit of (Not all of it, I swear by my manliness XD). Lol anywhoo, if any of you are easily offended, which none of you are, then don't look now. Or do, I'm not the boss of you. Unless I am, in which case, do what you will.

Anyway, WoW's been great I'm now a level 30 Night Elf Druid, and can turn into a panther, bear, cheetah and sealion. Awesome huh. And Jimmy and I go off on all sorts of crazy adventures battling stuff, having fist-fights with a lvl 60 tauren and his four lvl 60 mates on elite mounts, skinny dipping, winning battlegrounds, ganking level ??? horde gankers, stuff like that. Thinking about posting photos from WoW, but maybe another time :).

War out,
JiM

2005-08-08T19:44:00.000Z

Well since I last made an entry a lots happend. Dark, terrifying things that you mortals cannot possibly comprehend. Other than that some cool stuffs happend, we went to seaworld and the wild animal park n stuff. Oh yeah, and my older sister got engaged, which is cool as long as I get to be a bridesmaid. Also the neighbours grandkids came around for the weekend and they were HOT. And we tried out their new tube on the water which fitted me and Darren (sisters fiance) on it and was piss funny. Going to LA tomorrow to go to some theme parks and Medieval Times =D hehehe.

2005-07-27T07:30:00.000Z

As many of you may know, I recently lost one of my testicles in a rare incident at the zoo,involving two sparrows and an empty ice cream cup. I'll leave it to you to picture the rest.I'm not too bothered though I guess...I never liked that one anyway. It was always holding me back. I guess I'm better off without it.

Anyway as many of you may also know, I'm in the US for a few. So I'll see whoevers there when I return, and mark my words, I shall return. As predicted by the omens foretold from the disembowelling of the sacrificial goat, I have sunburned severely already. I look like an unripe green tomato, except red. And less round. And I don't have one of those dumb green things in my head. Hmm maybe I look more like a smacked baboons ass. Anywhoo, today was awesome which made me SO excited that I felt like writing something. The rents got this comp a few days ago I apologise for not being able to be online for so long and hence not being able to help sort out a paintballing thing. We'll see when I get back, eh chaps? If not then whatever.

So what made today so awesome? Well to start with I woke up early. Like really early. And had the hugest bladder-shrinking urination session I've had for a long time. Theres nothing quite like unloading a full-to-bursting bladder first thing in the morning. Then I yawned a few times I guess. Anyway I digress, next I went out on the boat to go fishing and I took the board with me. And lo and behold, on the very first day of fishing, using naught but my wits, fishing rods, a really cool luminous spinner, a tub of clams, a dead worm I found on the floor, some sunglasses and a net, I caught two fish! Beautious perch they were,writhing and tugging on my flexible rod. As if the day couldn't get any better I then went wakeboarding with the cool sea breeze in my face and the sun searing down and hurt myself alot.

Later on in the evening, after having some kickass steaks with the neighbours I went over to the hotel nearby and played mortal combat and primal rage on arcade machines for about an hour, went to the bar (passing the swimming pool and hottubs where there were shitloads of gorgeous bikinis) and got myself a large black coffee for $1.76! Not giving the guy a tip because I don't beleive in charity, I swiftly left and took a walk to the beach. I walked down the beach on the lovely summer evening, the stars sparkling up above, the dark waters lapping the sand. I had it all to myself. Shannyn Sossamon would have met me there but she called me earlier - she was in the middle of shooting the beginning of her next big movie which - guess what! I'm the STAR ROLE in!! It's called 'Naughty days and naughty nights'. I can't go into the plot much, but basically its all about me and Shannyn having constant sex for fourty days and nights. She's quite a girl. Of course she's besotted with
me, which is always good. So anywhoo the beach was awesome, couple fires burning where some of the kids were partying. I'll have to go and introduce myself soon I think. It'd be awesome. On the way back you gotta go through this tunnel under the road and there were NO lights. It was a really strange but pretty awesome feeling to go through there. Very strange. The whole inside was pitch black, but of course I could just see the end of the tunnel.It was almost like that near death experience I had when I was eating that egg. You guys remember that? Jimmy, you were there. And Logan, you were sitting on Jimbos shoulder. You guys gotta remember.

Anyway, I should go to bed. Stay tuned for more of Jim's KERAAAAZY adventures!

P.S. Rob theres loads of tripping the rift season 2 adverts on tv here. Looks hot.
P.P.S There was also a badass Osprey in the marina that I have mondo hot pictures of. Gotta remember to post some when I am able.

2005-06-09T00:21:00.000Z

Jim's Pleasure Tips #1: The Prostate
Right now I'm aware that this is a very well known male pleasure spot already that most if not all of you are aware (Road Trip, anyone?), but I feel it is my duty to bring it to your attention because, well, I tried it (fully, at least) myself a little while back and its worth doing. By writing this I hope many of you will think of this next time you have the chance of doing it, and take that leap, because for many, this form of pleasure IS a leap.

Many people do not see anal pleasure as stimulating in any way. Most commonly I've heard people say 'Jim you sick fuck, it's not right, things arent meant to go up there'. These people are fools. With these few steps, I'm going to explain how you go about it and overcome the fear and stigma, and take the leap into anal self pleasuring.

Note that this tip can obviously be used on your significant other if you are a girl, and bear in mind that if you can convince him, and he feels comfortable, he will think you are a sex Godess and wont be able to get enough (incidentally, I'm aware that female anal pleasuring is intense too, even with lack of a prostate. Prostates are still awesome though.)

Also note that I am no expert on this subject, I am a mere beginner in my journey of self exploration. The insights below are my own, beliefs are my own, and technique is my own. I'm sure I have much to learn in all aspects of the topic. I could say read at your own risk, but there is nothing to be remotely afraid about :).

So without further adieu, the main event:

1.) Point one is that bum pleasuring does NOT MAKE YOU HOMOSEXUAL in any way. Some guys are afraid that this is so. Trust me, I'm as straight as they come and I enjoy it.
2.) Bum pleasuring is NOT against God, Allah, Buddah, the Force, Gludwig the Large and Hairy, or any other popular deities / beliefs. It's ok. And anyway, is your God really that great if he's gonna damn your eternal soul just because you explored your own God-given body? Ha. I laugh at you if you believe this you closed minded bastards.
3.) Bum pleasuring does not have to be painful. Infact its quite painless with 1-2 fingers, and I've just begun.
4.) Bum pleasuring will give you a more full feeling about yourself and your body. Apart from the mini-beer belly I'm getting, I love my body now, thanks to my ass.It's like you've never been in touch with a part of your own body thats easily availible. Think about not having ever touched your penis. Apart from having piss stained trousers, you'd be unfulfilled and curious all your life. Nows the time to change.
5.) Bum pleasuring does not make you 'sick' or 'dirty' or 'twisted' or even 'perverted'. You are simply exploring. If you enjoy it, then go ahead, it's what you enjoy and who has the right to pressure you into not doing something you enjoy? Break free from the stigma surrounding butt pleasure and you're on the first step towards enlightenment.

Ok so how do you actually go about pleasuring yourself?
1.) Pick the time. For your first time, it may help to premediate the time when you want to explore yourself. Also set a goal for the session. This may be to penetrate with one finger, or add another finger. This will help with confidence and give a sense of gratification when you fulfill your goal. Some people however, may like to be spontaneous and take it at their own pace. Many may find that once they begin, they really enjoy it and want to take it all the way.
2.) Pick the place. I prefer the bath since the warm water acts as a comforter, lubricant and cleaner all in one. Definately my place of choice. Experiment. You may prefer different places.
3.) Clean your system. Urinate, deficate etc. Recommended, but thats my preference. Some people prefer using latex gloves, etc. but whatever you feel comfortable with.
4.) Get ready for some fun :D
5.) You may be so excited at the prospect you will already be maintaining an erection, otherwise you may want to encourage it. Gently lube up (or not, if in the bath - in any event, use KY Jelly, not vaseline) and slowly find a comfortable way for your arm to reach your anus.
6.) Gently, smoothly, find the rim and penetrate the sphincter. Start off with one finger, and TAKE IT EASY. Go slowly, and smoothly. Your sphincter may be trying to contract automatically which may cause a little discomfort. However you will soon become used to this and learn to relax. Enter a little more, each time stopping when you have sphincter contractions. Listen to your body, you dont want to ruin your first experience ;).
7.) Continue pushing your finger(s) deeper inside you. Soon you will feel your prostate gland. You should know this because its quite solid and you will feel a strange, highly pleasurable sensation when you stimulate it, almost like insta-orgasm. Keep stimulating and there you are! You have reached the prostate. Experiment with what feels best. I believe I said something along the line of 'WOW'.
8.) Try more fingers, or different techniques. To be quite honest, two fingers is the easiest way to stimulate the prostate for me, but is quite difficult to masturbate at the same time. See what feels best for you.

Now, this is just the beginning of what anal pleasuring has to offer. Go as far as you want, try out everything you are willing to. Remember - just be safe, clean and smart =D. As for me, though, I'm off to go do some more exploring.

This is Jim saying Stay Hot, Kr3w!

2005-06-07T15:01:00.000Z

Jim and Rob's crumbalicious no-bake cake recipe:
1/2 pack of digestives (normal kind)
cadburys chocolate pack x 6
raisins (as many as required)
cherries (many as required)
Margarine / buttery stuff

Break up all the chocolate and put in a saucepan. Break up the digestives into powder, leaving a few large chunks of biscuit. Chop cherries into quarters and mix with raisins. Boil water, add to another saucepan. Place the saucepan with chocolate on top of the boiling water to begin melting the chocolate. Add a large chunk of margarine. Once the chocolate has fully melted, add the digestives, cherries and raisins. Mix up until equally distributed. Place mix into containers and put into freezer. Leave until solid, then serve (accompanies well a fine vintage milk).

2005-06-07T01:34:00.000Z

Can anyone else see a pulse in their bottom lip? I feel so special.

2005-06-01T12:11:00.000Z

Take a look here turkeys

Granted, the flash isn't funny, but watch through till the end credits. I'm pretty sure that must be WillP right there.

In other news, I just started my hypnotherapy SSM today. It's awesome. We had two hypno sessions from the lecturer and one of them was amazing it was the best I've felt in ages. Good shit.

2005-05-30T02:51:00.000Z

Life is pathetic. At least mine is. Is yours? If it pleases you, write a comment explaining what isn't pathetic in your life that makes it worthwhile. Otherwise I'll just assume that everyones life is pointless. Kthx.

2005-05-22T13:38:00.000Z

From Rob's suggestions...This is from Rammstein's 'Sonne'. Considering the English translation found on a site was already probably a bit out, and also considering it doesn't make all that much sense anyway, here you go:

, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, from each one awaits luminous A a fear, fear does not have that the sun of my eyes seems that evening does not adjust it this and the world comes in accordance with 10 sun two comes here the sun counts here, three him it the most luminous star from all the four comes the sun is here, the sun of my hands seems it that to burn can, can it blindly do everything, if it bursts of the fists it on the face fixes warmly, it to you evening do not adjust this and the world aloud to 10 the star from all the four does not come the sun five comes here the sun six comes here the sun seven him it the most luminous star from all eights is, new here comes the sun is here the sun of my blind hands seems it that to burn can, can it return to you, if it bursts of the fists him on your face fixes warmly, it on your adjustment of box are painful it leaves you lost with the floor goes strongly fixed and the world in accordance with 10 one comes the sun two comes here the sun counts three here that it is the most luminous star very of four and it never the sun six comes here here the most luminous star from all eights is, nine come here the sun

2005-05-22T01:37:00.000Z

Well, yeah I got bored. And Rob's display picture made me feel inspired and creative. Take time to see it's inner meaning. It might not be as simple as it may first appear.

2005-05-21T22:20:00.000Z

'If you cut a face lengthwise, urinate on it, and trample on it with straw sandals, it is said that the skin will come off. This was heard by the priest Gyojaku when he was in Kyoto. It is information to be treasured.' Yamemoto Tsunetomo

I have planned on blogging for ages now, maybe it will come but right now I'm too concerned with cutting faces lengthwise, urinating on them and trampling on them with straw sandals so that the skin comes off.

2005-05-04T15:13:00.000Z

Ok here's the deal. This recently published quote is clearly an untrue account of the events of...well a few days ago.

From the Witham Enquirer:

"A crash almost occurred last night, in what was a clear display of crap driving followed by an inspired recovery. The car was swerving in what our reporter took to be a most amusing manner, until the driver, known only as Jim, shouted "Oh Shit", and thereupon began to attempt to stop the car. It spun upon its axis, and left skid marks that were still visible today. Our observer also noted that the passenger in the back seat kakked his sunday panties. He was that scared. Especially on the way back, when the slightest sign of acceleration caused him to urinate upon his trousers. The police have so far failed to trace the shit back where it came from..."

Here's how the REAL story should have been written:

"In an awe-inspiring display of skill, reflex and favour from God, the well known sex-God Jim saved a large family of previously-thought-extinct ditch turtles this Sunday. Risking his own life, but curiously never endangering the lives of his two passengers, Jim battled the fates which would have him burn to death in the upturned shell of his custom built ferrari. Jim is reported to have been looking incredible when he spoke with our hot female reporter. This is what he had to say on the matter:
'Well, I just couldn't let those poor innocent little creatures get harmed, could I? I love all of God's incredible creatures, but I don't believe I have ever witnessed a creature as beautiful or unique as you before. Haha, and I saw a family of previously-thought extinct turtles.' at which point our reporter giggled bashfully.

One onlooker is reported to have been looking 'a little down', so Jim gave him a loving hug which made him feel instantly better. Jim then went on to have hot nasty sex with our reporter. Many, many times.

No-one in the vehicle was injured, nor in any danger of being injured thanks to Jim's amazing reaction time and driving prowess. This again just goes to prove that Jim really is one amazing guy. For any questions about the incident, or if you want to try to get into the 'hot seat', ring Jim on....."

And thats how it really happend. Incidentally, Will P actually DID lose anal sphincter control and kakked his khakis. Oh and he declared his love for us guys. That was the scariest thing about it.

2005-05-01T15:26:00.000Z

Awesome weekend thus far, chumps, I shot THREE bunnies in one round! Thats one round of bunny hunting, not one pellet. Although that would be amazingly...amazing. I also got to meet the new little chick. He's awesome. I've officially named him 'Chicken Licken', firstly because he's a chicken-to-be and secondly he's good for lickin'. Mmm. Such nice shots on the bunnies. There were loads sitting there and I took the first shot and it landed the rabbit before he even knew what was happening. I mean a straight shot in the throat he just fell stone dead. The others didn't know what was going on they just looked around. Then I took the other one, hit him in the chest, so he just sat there looking around like a dumbass. Took another one, hit him in the rear quarters. So he sat down and I walked up, took a shot, hit him in the head. So then he decides to twitch a bit. The other one was a bit messier hit him in the back legs so he started to try to crawl away so I walked over nice n slow and put the gun right up against the back of his head, waited a bit for dramatic effect, said my flashy one-liner and blew my load into the back of its head, which made a nice spurt of blood. Mmmmmm.

Oh and I went to the Boote. Man theres a pretty hot waitress in that place. You know, that brunette? Mmmm mm mmm. Never serves me though :(. Wah. Also a fit blonde washing my hair at the hairdressing place. Awesome. Oh and we're getting broadband here. AND Mums doing all my washing mwahahahaha. Oh and I took a drive.

See how much happier I am when I'm at home? Awesome isn't it.

2005-05-01T02:32:00.000Z

Well yet again, its been a shit week. Life blows.

After that great start which has probably had you all closing the window, I'll continue. Firstly the acupuncture hasn't really worked. It got better a little bit then its gotten bad again. Fucks sake. Anyway aside from that some cool stuff HAS happened, including something I was particuarly proud of; namely, getting Aidy to take 1/2 a spoonful of some of my herbs dry (when you are meant to take it with half a glass of hot water). Needless to say, this had him vomiting for about 10 minutes. Hehehehe. I rule.

Jitsu was cool this week we went to UCL where I kicked everyone I was up against at groundfighting which was nice. Theres something satisfying about pinning another guy down where he's helpless and at my mercy. Mmm. Oh actually I was against a girl in one fight and as soon as it began she pulled me inbetween her legs as she lay on her back. Needless to say I was surprised. I know you're not MEANT to think of it in a sexual way but it's quite impossible not to. It's not as if I get off over it but yeah it's fun. We also got to see a light blue belt short oriental guy kick some ASS in a V (Where you get people running and punching at you). He was so fast he would hit them 3-4 times then put them down, knee them in the crotch, kick them on the floor, everything. He was amazing. I don't know what it is but I always have such respect for people that could kick my ass that easily ^^. Jitsu rules. We also got into a great convo about paintballing we might get a trip. Booyah!

Ah, and then there was kickboxing. This week was INCREDIBLE. We had the guy that taught my master there today, named Zi. He ruled. I took Raph down with me this time and he had just done a 3k ergo (rowing) thing so he was pretty shot. Anyway, the warm up was killer. Raph blurted out "Four and a half" when Zi asked how many press ups to do. These pressups, shit. They weren't even pressups. They were just pure agony. It consisted of us holding press up position and taking like 2 minutes over each one. Or more. And bouncing an inch off the ground. Then Zi got us to stand up and hold our arms out. I physically couldn't hold them up anymore once the cramp set in. Oh and being a nice guy he came over and pressed down on them. Since I had to take my arms down he came over and 'helped me' by pushing down extra hard. And when he got us to do squats he came over and jumped on our backs. The guys 15 stone. The thing was this guy could do all of this without breaking a sweat. It was nothing to him. He and my Ronan (my master) went to Thailand to train with some Grand Masters a while back and they said they were dead. How hard must that have been :S. Some people have insanely awesome bodies. Anyway after that he was taking us through some kickass moves including key-pinches...very nasty indeed.

Anway Zi was awesome and a well good laugh. Unfortunately he's up in Bolton and I think this was the last kickboxing session for a while :(. Maybe not until next semester. Fuck. So annoying. So then we went for a curry which ruled and then to the union. Having just been talking about bar fights, me and Raph were pleasantly surprised to enter the union and see a bunch guys around the pool table in a fight, with one guy trying to smack the other guys with the pool cue. 'Q' as I'll call him, walked out in the end and noone was hurt (shame) and the bouncers had a chat outside. Since me and the guys were going out to get pissed and go to the Ministry, we heard all that was said. Q's all like 'Yeah don't worry mate, I coulda taken him, he woulda been on the floor no problems', and 'yeah one push up against the machines, a smack to the head and bam down he goes' and 'Listen I may have had a few beers but I can take care of myself, you know. I'm a doorman myself, mate I could have sorted it out'. What a load of shit. I hate people like that. It was just an awesome fantasy to see Zi come along and kick the shit out of the twat but alas, it stayed a fantasy :(. I couldn't imagine Zi ever losing his temper he was such a peaceful, nice guy, but I sure as fuck wouldn't want to be there when he did lose it. Thats what I love about guys that have attained some proficiency in a martial art. They all seem to have like a commanding aura around them thats like...heck I don't know. It's just like a peaceful but strong presence if you know what I mean. Awesome.

Anyway so after the union we bought a shitload of drinks and headed back to the flat and drank ourselves stupid. Unfortunately for me, just as 'white men can't jump' , black men can't drink, and two of them got into a wrestle on the floor. So as I dodged them to get into the kitchen and back to my wine bottle, then piled into my legs, taking them out, and I ended up headbutting the door handle. Ending up with me holding ice on my bleeding and nastily swollen eyebrow. Asses.

Well I wrote that 2 days ago just when the uni system decided to be an ass and shut down. Since then, I watched Hitchhikers Guide, which was pretty wicked-awesome. I'm at home right now after making myself do some pressups etc. and I think it's time for a wank. Or sleep, whichever comes first.

Over n out, compadres

2005-04-20T03:22:00.000Z

Ninth Level of Hell - Cocytus

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

This is the deepest level of hell, where the fallen angel Satan himself resides. His wings flap eternally, producing chilling cold winds that freeze the thick ice found in Cocytus. The three faces of Satan, black, red, and yellow, can be seen with mouths gushing bloody foam and eyes forever weeping, as they chew on the three traitors, Judas, Brutus, and Cassius. This place is furthest removed from the source of all light and warmth. Sinners here are frozen deep in the ice, faces out, eyes and mouths frozen shut. Traitors against God, country, family, and benefactors lament their sins in this frigid pit of despair.

Purgatory Repenting Believers Very Low
Level 1 - Limbo Virtuous Non-Believers Very Low
Level 2 Lustful Very High
Level 3 Gluttonous High
Level 4 Prodigal and Avaricious High
Level 5 Wrathful and Gloomy Extreme
Level 6 - The City of Dis Heretics Extreme
Level 7 Violent Extreme
Level 8- the Malebolge Fraudulent, Malicious, Panderers Extreme
Level 9 - Cocytus Treacherous Extreme

Yeah, well whatever asssholes, I'm not the one that has a link to holidays in France, you sick, twisted, headfucked evil bitches. And I DO live in a frozen hell; it's called England, you teabagged old crones.

At least I get to hang with Satan. He might give me a huge cock and awesome life like Rasputin. But probably not.

2005-04-20T02:57:00.000Z

Hahahahahaha I socked a guy square in the face today in jitsu. I am truly awesome. That was basically the highlight I was looking for. No good looking/nice/interesting people at the pub, as usual, only the same old assholes and slutty mush brained whores. Come home stinking of smoke and booze, having not drunk enough yourself to warrant the fucking shithole walk over to the tragic pub, not having enjoyed the evening in the slightest. That's true university living. Cunts. People make me fucking sick. Oh and I think getting pissed off makes me flare up or some shit my face is like red and itchy. I swear the acupuncture has made this shit worse. That and shaving. Along with rubbing my face off in lectures with sandpaper and rubbing alcohol because theyre so fucking pointless. And my fingers gotten worse too. Then again I probably picked up the pox from some toilet seat.

Moral of this story:
Don't be an asshole and don't masturbate all over public toilet seats. Infact don't go to public places at all. Stay in your homes and masturbate. And then cry because you're a suckasspussybitchslutwhorefaggot and take a box of crayolas and shove them one by one up your nose then grab a flamethrower and burn your face off, making the crayons melt and run into your lungs, and subsequently killing you painfully. Oh and also by your face being burnt off. And no shutting eyelids.

Oh and by all rights, you should have been dribbling down the inside of your mothers legs instead of being conceived, you worthless fuck.

2005-04-19T15:19:00.000Z

You know, I woke up this morning totally relaxed and at peace. I felt, dare I say it, good. I think its something to do with sleeping from 5pm, having a 30 minute wake up from a call from my rents then going back to sleep until 7am but whatever. Of course starting on a high, you just know your days gonna be shit. You know what though? Knowing that every day has and will be shit. Every day. Why take it? Go commit suicide already. If you think anything in life is worth living for, you are wrong. You are either a simpleton or in denial.

Anyway for some reason today I ate at McDonalds. The first reason for this is because it would let me sit down and think about everything that pisses me off. Second reason is that McDonalds pisses me off so much it'd give me loads of material. First thing you notice is a half-cast little shit on the posters making a dumbass look. Now I'm speculating he was mixnmatch to promote equality (as in market their floor-grade food to everyone) but as everyone knows, and the Warcraft-inspired book 'The Last Guardian' will tell you, half breeds are hated by both sides. In the book, Garona, a half-orc half-human (one source says half-draenei?) chick, works for the Shadow Council and assasinates King Llane. Shes rejected by both humans and orcs because of her mixed race. Thereby proving my point that noone likes them. Also, the boy was a kid. And everyone hates kids. Not doing too well to promote those shitty '99% fruit juice' packaged jellies are you, McDonalds? Lastly is that gormless attempting-to-be-cute-but-instead-inducing-dragon-punching-urges-by-me look which looks like his abusive father has just pulled out his big black cock infront of him.

Another thing. I only go to McDonalds because its 'fast food'. Unfortunately someone screwed up with this idea, and instead of having shit food but quickly, I had to wait like 10 minutes before I even got a look at my shit food. 7 quid and 12 minutes later, I got my first bite of burger which tasted like the contents of a used STI-ridden condom mixed with cat food, with a soggy bun and raw onions (the best thing about it). Whilst in there I also had to put up with scummy pox-ridden chavs and an influx of obnoxious schoolkids. Oh and the shit-awful music they had playing. Just because some songs are referred to as '80's classics' doesn't mean that they're good. They should have been fucking LEFT in the 80's. Move on people. Noone wants to listen to that shit anymore, and if you do, you're a fuck. The only tolerable song they DID play was 'Stairway to heaven' and that was once I had finished.

Before that I got my grade for dissection. A C. A fucking C. EVERYONE walked out of that exam room without a fucking clue of what had just gone on. And they get fair grades. I get a fucking C. None of the people in my group, save one (and he's a fucking twat) could dissect nicely, all were retards and I wouldn't give two shits if they all died tomorrow. And yet they get nice grades. Know why? Because I missed 3 or four sessions and attendance was on the grading. Boo fucking hoo. If I can get a better picture of the fucking elbow joint in a book than on a cadaever that my shit eating group mate has attempted to hack apart, then that should be my perogative. They can all suck my fucking gonads.

Oh yes, and before that was PBL. Absofuckinglutely amazing that was, as usual. All my PBLs consist of a pseudo-intellectual boring-ass muslim bitch arguing about what number objective an irrelevant segment of the paragraph is going to be with a second pseudo-intellectual feminist-looking ugly ass slut-whore-bitch. PBLs piss me off. The only thing I like about PBL's is one girl whos cool and one hot asian chick (thats asian, not oriental dipshits) coz she has really nice lips and eyes. Unfortunately she dresses like that cunt-sniffing whore "J-Lo", but fortunately has a better ass. Anyway so we go back and forth with these 'I'm a better student' suck-ass arguments between these boring bitches that have nothing better to do than sit in their cheapass IKEA 'Standard style' balsa wood chairs think about why their lives are so sad and devoid of interesting things whilst I sit there looking up the asian chick and trying to gouge my eyes out between bouts of shouting that they're all total fucking morons and flipping out. Then they look at me like I'M being unreasonable. They should all all eat shit and die. Give it a few weeks, and they'd probably smell better, too. I hate all medics, mainly because they're all twats, and also because they're all backstabbing tossers.

Right well onto my trip to the union. In the morning I decided I liked the warm rain and sun and it felt fresh. After PBL walking down whitechapel/mile end road, and passing hordes of walking assholes, I felt pissed off with the rain and wished that everyone around me had eaten a frag grenade (thats fragmentation grenade to you mush-headed non gamers). When I get to the union, big surprise - theres noone fucking there. I left the RAG bucket on the floor.

And finally, when I was walking to the underground station, I went past what looked like a diseased malformed chimpanzee but was actually a small old man (same in my book) at a news stand which had a banner reading 'Courage of marathon runners without legs'. What a trough-full of shit. Firstly, they're not marathon runners. Websters online dictionary defines 'to run' as: 'Move fast by using one's feet, with one foot off the ground at any given time'. Ergo, the cripples are not runners. And courage? Pft whats so courageous about doing the marathon just because you're crippled? Double-standarded political correct pussies. If I did the marathon, I'd say I was a paraplegic just so I got to sit down in a fancy wheelchair, sit on my ass while the thing rolls down the hill (turn a motor on when going uphill) and be called 'courageous'. What fucking heros. That reminds me about that Lance Armstrong guy. He had testicular cancer. This automatically gives him a huge advantage in a cycle-race because he doesn't have a huge pair of sperm-factories being crunched against the always-too-small bicycle seats. Yet people think he's amazing. Yay lets make armbands and wear them just to show how amazing we are for giving to this charity that we woudln't have given shit all too if it wasn't for Lance Armstrong riding his bike. Pft. Please.

Know what else pissed me off? The amount of ugly/obese people around. There wouldn't be as many ugly people if babies were checked at birth and killed if they showed any signs of being an ugly twat. Infact, if some sort of stupidity-measuring unit was also availible for babies, that should also be used. I'm sick of having Earth's resources being used up by retarded, worthless, ugly and/or obese fucktards. Kill worthless babies and use them for fuel or food.

Also, I, whilst playing Diablo 2, am ashamed to say that I had the original(?) Dr. Doolittle film on as opposed to watching the god-awful marathon being run by idiots. This has to be a contender for worst film ever created. It's actually worse than the new version, and thats saying something. Theres too much singing, far too many colours, everyones a fucking idiot, the effects are terrible, theres not enough violence or nudity, and theres definately no zombies, robots or awesome aliens (not pussies like Jar-Jar (I'm a faggot icon) Binx). Infact theres a two headed llama which would be cool, if it 1.) wasn't accompanied by singing 2.) didn't LOOK like it was two guys strapped back to back in a shitty llama suit 3.) didn't dance to the singing like a total fucking idiot. Theres also a giant snail which was the worst attempt at either humour or effects that I have ever seen in my whole entire life. It resembled something between a fungally infected vagina and an asshole. And incase you like that kinda shit, suck dicks in hell. Oh and theres also a tribe that speak perfect English. Apparently in those times it was uncommon to see a black man speak English, let alone well. Some things never change, huh. Oh come on don't pretend you don't agree. You racist fuck. Get that hood and rope out of my sight you racist piece of shit.

Speaking about racism, heres my top five list of ways to walk down Whitechapel without getting assraped:
1.) Look like the most badass fucker out there, the type that would give a twat a coma as soon as look at him. Seems to work for me.
2.) Be a female medic (you're so ugly that no guy is ever gonna want to touch you)***
3.) Wear a skullcap and the Star of David. Only joking, you'd get killed, stamped on and mutilated. Yep, you can't spell Jihad without I h ate damned Jews.
4.) Take a shotgun.
5.) Take an RPG and every 5 minutes shout 'ALLAH AHKBAR!'. You'll get to the union unnoticed.

***Incidentally, no offense to Prill here, but none of you have come here and seen whats on offer. There are NO attractive girls in my year in medicine, let alone ones that I would consider spending more than 5 minutes with. The moderately attractive ones in the year above are all super-bitch-whores and are probably shit in bed. You know, I've thought about why girls bother taking a professional career like medicine. You see, I figure most are so indescribably unattractive that they won't get married and have kids to look after in the future, thereby not being hassled by their primary function in life; to be a woman. With their manliness, they can advance in their career. And all we have to thank are skank-assed feminists and ugly chicks (one in the same). My two favourite groups of people. The only thing that gets in the way of my theory is sexual frustration and desperation, since theres always 'someone as horny as you are ugly' (forget the source for that quote there, like you give a shit you twat).

That about does it. Till next time.

Eat more arsenic.

2005-04-19T09:00:00.000Z

Hehehe:

http://www.thebestpageintheuniverse.net/c.cgi?u=web_logs

2005-04-18T04:09:00.000Z

Hey whatsup everyone. This post is of great importance, for it marks my recognition of the resignation of Mr.Cygnus from audio commentaries, and from war3 itself. Sigh.

Anyway in other news, we did RAG week last week. We came top AGAIN out of all the London med schools and Georges (2nd best) had two weeks whilst we had a puny one! HA! Everyone sucks. Can't remember what our overall total was this year, but over £100,000. I'm gonna find out how much I personally made on my one day out tomorrow. I got told it was like 400-500 easy when I dumped it in the bucket. I got 10 quid off Jaimie Redknapp and some Wasps rugby players ;).

Oh yeah that was in this gym/spa my sis works at. And while I was there I thought I'd stop in for some acupuncture and also picked up some rather nasty tasting herbs. Anyway it was awesome.

What else...found a rather funny maddox ripoff site. It's just written by some kid but some of the articles are hilarious. My favorites probably the one about Jesus. Also: http://www.ninjapirate.com/sensitivity-test.html everyone write your scores if you can be arsed.

Also, because I can't be arsed to put the picture up, and so you have a background, here ya go:
Either that or type Rasputin's penis into google images for more great pictures.

Now it's my humble opinion that good old Grigory had a pact with the Devil. Why? Well for one thing, his penis is somewhere around 15 inchess. No big deal, you might think (if anyone has been lucky enough to see me naked you'll understand). But then we must consider his 'circum'-stances (forgiveness please). The man was finally killed by falling into a river and drowning under the ice (if I rightly remember) after being poisoned, stabbed and shot repeatedly. Now, as everyone knows, when you get in cold water your package shrinks in order to keep the genitalia warm and to embarass you when you get out of the pool infront of all the beautiful girls and AHRAIKFJGKDGNWF ... ahem. But anyway yeah, so we must remember that he was in subzero degree water at the time of his death. Also, the penis has been preserved, a process which normally results in shrinkage. Now lets think a minute here. The guys on the flop, in freezing water, has had massive blood loss, and his cocks been preserved. And he's still 15 inches. Compare this to Napoleons cock, a puny maggot (still sold for like 10,000 though, right?).

Point two: he had 'healing powers' which helped to treat the child, Prince Alexis' haemophilia. Now you could argue one of four points:
1.) Rasputin had supernatural healing powers from God or Satan.
2.) The Tzarina, Alenxandra, lied about his healing powers so that he had an excuse to be around to fuck her senseless 24/7.
3.) Rasputins meat rod was pounding Alexandra so hard that it ripped her open, making her bleed excessively. Rasputin used this blood as a transfusion for Alexis.
4.) Rasputin had an extra 2 pints of blood than an ordinary man, which was needed to keep him from passing out whenever he got an erection. By sacrificing a full-hard-on for a day, Rasputin got a boner, made a cut, drained the extra pint or two and transfused to Alexis.

Any of the above choices make Rasputin possibly the most awesome guy ever. So yeah, healing powers or not, he MUST have had a pact with Lucifer. Why? Simple. It's well known that God never imbues people with special healing powers or huge phalli. Jesus messed around with drugs and got lucky. Oh and that blind guy that Jesus healed had his eyes sown shut. He wasn't really blind.

So in conclusion, Rasputin is possibly the most awesome guy ever. He has everything and embodies everything man desires; another man's wife, all of the hot rich girls begging you to crack them open, power, influence, lots of action (people trying to kill you), near-invulnerability, an awesome death-legend, a cool Russian accent, a hefty beard, and lets not forget his mighty penis, by which he is now immortalised. If anyone can think up a better life than that, I'd like to hear it. And he owes it all to Lucifer. Wow. What a guy.

And to round things off, an awesome story:

Sorry for grammar, spelling, look at the time and fuck yourself.

2005-04-13T04:29:00.000Z

Oh and just because I'm bored a little useless information - I did shit in my last exam I need 45% average to pass the qualification to take the summer exams which should be fine. I'm so disappointed in myself. Every day. I'm such a fuckup.

Anyway Rob got back from football tour to tenerife today. He's jaundiced and hasn't been able to keep down solid foods almost all week. And he had to wear a gimp mask to the airport 'until someone in authority tells you to take it off'. Ooh and he and a few others had to wear a tiny pink girls swimming costume. Sickening. Truly sickening.

Also had a huge long conversation with the jitsu guys about all kinds of warfare and great civilisations for some reason. Very random, very cool. Although James woudln't support my claim that war elephants are awesome. Or barbarians. Some people have no sense of anything other than winning. He stuck to the old phalanx idea. Also very cool but a boring idea. I know barbarians aren't exactly effective but still the whole idea is cool. More interesting than guys with pointy sticks marching in phalanx. Damn history students.

That reminds me, I want an oliphaunt. Hint: my birthdays 12th July kthxbye.

I should really get to fucking sleep earlier. What the hell am I doing up at 5:40 in the fucking morning? I've been awake all night and sleeping all afternoon this week, only having one meal a day. I'm a fucking mess. I'm such a fuckup. Bah.

Yay kickboxing tomorrow. Something to look forward to. If I'm awake. Sigh

2005-04-13T04:03:00.000Z

Life just plain fucking sucks. It really fucking does.

On another note, talking to Adam from jitsu today, he recalled that time after the jitsu nationals (remember the post?) where I was messing around with the gay black belt. Adam went back in a taxi with this gay dude and some ppls and he overheard the black belt say this (about me):

'Mmm there was this novice just graded to yellow. He was well up for it. I coulda showed him a thing or two.' Moral of this story: don't piss around with a black belt jitsu queer who wants you. I'm convinced he coulda butt raped me easily.

Also, for some reason I have the gay times in my room.

Help. Please.

2005-04-07T19:52:00.000Z

In a very Prill-esque manner, here I present you with the lyrics to an amazing song.

Rammstein - "Sonne"

Eins, zwei, drei, vier, funf, sechs, sieben, acht, neun, aus

Alle warten auf das Licht
furchtet euch furchtet euch nicht
die Sonne scheint mir aus den Augen
sie wird heut Nacht nicht untergehen
und die Welt zahlt laut bis zehn

Eins
Hier kommt die Sonne
Zwei
Hier kommt die Sonne
Drei
Sie ist der hellste Stern von allen
Vier
Hier kommt die Sonne

Die Sonne scheint mir aus den Handen
kann verbrennen, kann euch blenden
wenn sie aus den Fausten bricht
legt sich heiss auf das Gesicht
sie wird heut Nacht nicht untergehen
und die Welt zahlt laut bis zehn

Eins
Hier kommt die Sonne
Zwei
Hier kommt die Sonne
Drei
Sie ist der hellste Stern von allen
Vier
Hier kommt die Sonne
Funf
Hier kommt die Sonne
Sechs
Hier kommt die Sonne
Sieben
Sie ist der hellste Stern von allen
Acht, neun
Hier kommt die Sonne

Die Sonne scheint mir aus den Handen
kann verbrennen, kann dich blenden
wenn sie aus den Fausten bricht
legt sich heiss auf dein Gesicht
legt sich schmerzend auf die Brust
das Gleichgewicht wird zum Verlust
lasst dich hart zu Boden gehen
und die Welt zahlt laut bis zehn

Eins
Hier kommt die Sonne
Zwei
Hier kommt die Sonne
Drei
Sie ist der hellste Stern von allen
Vier
Und wird nie vom Himmel fallen
Funf
Hier kommt die Sonne
Sechs
Hier kommt die Sonne
Sieben
Sie ist der hellste Stern von allen
Acht , neun
Hier kommt die Sonne

2005-04-05T00:04:00.000Z

Sigh. Well I'm back at uni and its pretty wank. Nice to have the alienware back and do some more anatomy but meh on the whole its a bit wank. I've had a buncha stuff going on but either I forgot or cba so whatever. Only thing I have to say today is rant about this BITCH in anatomy. Shes a fucking butcher. Not only does she outrageously slice through all the fat and has no idea what shes doing, but she actually hacked straight through the godamned sciatic nerve...just after I had found and cleaned up nicely the upper part of it she goes and slices straight through the fucking thing. Idiot. Oh yeah and she stabbed me in the forearm with a scalpel that had just been hacking through the cadavers legs. Stupid bitch. She cut some other guy in my group before too. She never uses her hands she always grabs the scalpels straight away. She should be given a fucking great slap and told to fuck off. If you can't use a blade without being a fucking idiot you shouldn't be able to get one. Simple. There's plenty of people that are shit at dissecting but if your going to be a danger to other people then you should learn how to use a fucking knife or fuck off. It's not hard its common sense. Stupid fucking bitch.

2005-03-19T02:37:00.000Z

Ah the days are becoming lovely aren't they? I woke up at 2pm, got some cheese on toast and a corona and made my way outside where everyone was wallowing in the sun with a couple of batches of fosters and doritos, lots of footballs, american footballs, frisbees, and I of course had my two hackysacks. So that was it the whole day really. Lol. Until, that is there was almost this big fight outside the accomodation. It was fucking classic these two asian twats came in on bikes and when some other ppl told them if they could piss off they started. I went over to watch the proceedings. It was laughable. This 12 year old looking twat on a bike about 4 times his size facing up on the bike and talking the talk, a bunch of girls saying 'leave him alone, piss off' yadda yadda yadda as usual and this other guy who he was starting on. Anyway so the little asian guys like 'Oh man I am gonna smack your boy' to these girls and yadda yadda and then he drove off with his mate and came back with about 9 of them. This shit was textbook =D. Anyway so the little asian gets off his bike, takes off his belt and starts trying to whop this guy, whose friends all piss off and leave him (fucking QM cunts) and he walks away inside. His mates tried a few shots on his mates actually but theyre all morons and couldn't land anything lol. So no fight ensued. And then me Aidy and Joe followed these guys out coz there were lots of ppl further up but they just went off anyway. Anyway they came yesterday too apparently so tomorrow we'll be playing cricket just to make sure a good bat is handy =D. Ah good times.

The amusing thing was the apparent 'leader' of this little posse was fucking tiny. He took his belt off and all the other guy did was try to walk back. Thats the worst thing to do. If someone has a belt and is trying to whup you with it the best thing to do is gonna be run into it, try to grab the belt and smack the shit out of him at close range or on the floor. And hopefully finish off by getting his belt and choking. That said he has a few mates so you want to probably have him in a hold where you're gonna break something. And a few mates of your own :P. The trouble is the police action if something serious happens, although those guys in the chicken shop that belted Aidy around only got a 30 quid penalty. He dropped charges because it would probably cost him more to get to court to carry the shit out. Ridiculous. Pressure points and locks are where its at I reckon. You do something that doesn't break and noone can see too well then its all good.

Anyway thats it. I got jitsu grading tomorrow gotta be up at 7 :(. Night night, y'all.

2005-03-15T02:39:00.000Z

HEY! Well today was my first SSM day and I did dissection! =D So I got there a little late and missed the first bit of the briefing but it was ok. I got assigned the body of an oldish male guy who had had some sort of cancer of the liver or something which made him turn green. The liver itself was properly solid green it was incredible. So for two weeks I'm going to be dissecting the limbs and I get a test at the end of this week and the end of the week after Easter. Sucks.

Butr anyway I got assigned this body with a few other people and after one guy had cut the initial incisions to open out the skin from elbow-shoulder above the biceps and kinda botched it with the layers, I grabbed a scalpel and opened him up. We had to find the main blood vessels running down the arm and we managed to get the whole collection of vessels and nerves. After that we had to turn the fella over so we all grabbed him and put him over onto his front. Then we had to cut from him lower back up to his neck. We seperated the subcutaneous fat and skin from the other layers first, then scraped fat off until we had a clean bit of muscle. We managed to seperate a few muscles and flap them over so we could get on with the underlying tissues. We had to get to the scapula and find the muscles surrounding it and blood vessles. We also had to find the muscles supporting the neck. Anyway so we flip him back over and it looks like we broke his nose coz its all squished up so I straighten that out heheh :D and we cover and leave.

Now what my point is in all of this is that I didn't seem to feel like Prill said she felt. I felt no disgust or any sadness, my respect was with the idea of them doing it, not so much their bodies, although obviously you give respect to the bodies as etiquette. It just felt as if their bodies were just like machines or something, but empty. I didn't feel shocked at all or anything. It was strange really. I expected it might be really weird and not pleasant but it wasn't at all. There wasnt a bad smell, it was peaceful and fun, interesting, noone actually seemed to be freaked out which was surprising, I thought some might be, but it was great. Strange. I had heard before that it kinda changes you, working with a dead body, but I felt nothing. Meh. Anyway I'm looking forward to tomorrow, although I seem to be the only one with an SSM that requires you to work hard :/.

Anyway I still have that essay to do and I wanna go play footie at 9 tomorrow so laterz =D

2005-03-14T02:19:00.000Z

Hey I'm Jim McFrame. You may remember me from such blogs as 'Why have my pants gone all wet mommy?' and 'Whats that pointy thing under your skirt?'.

You know, sitting here with a ice cold bottle of corona and some mini eggs, I can't help wondering where homeless people defecate. And what they wipe with. Is that the reason they all have dogs? It's the question man has been asking since the dawn of time. Well I don't know the answers, but I sure do enjoy a bottle of corona and minieggs. So here it is what vagina-oozing things I've been up to...

Couple weeks back went to a judo nationals thing in Birmingham (funny considering there were only jitsuka and no judoers :S). Anyway I grudgingly went as a QMer (when I'm a dan and own the club I'll rename it 'Barts and the London' mwahahahaha). Anyway so there was an awesome couple of training sessions on fitness groundwork standing locks, pins etc. and then after the first day of training we had the competitons =D. It was basically arranged in grade and weight order. Anyway so I got called up and sitting back to back with this guy and then you gotta turn around and take down the guy and pin him for 30 seconds, or until the round lasts, or until you get a submission (at my grade you can't choke or lock just pins :( ). So yeah anyway after a little bit I take my guy down and get him in an awesome kesagatame (don't know the spelling :P) and hold it! Yay!

Anyway the next round went on for far longer without many attempted pins, until he got a kesagatame on me. Now by this point I was like 'well while I'm down here I'll just have a little rest' :P, not really knowing that the time of the pin is like a points type thing. Meh. Anyway so I get out of it just at the end no sooner have I broken than the fight stops and it goes to the judges. Obviously cozza the pin I got owned. Oh well. Noone else won a fight in white belt QM apart from Leah who managed to go all the way through and the next day got a gold by kicking all their asses! It was mucho impressive. She was somewhat enjoying it a little too much. Maybe shes a dyke. Or a sadist. Both good. Anyway then the next day we got to watch the dans (brown and black belts) do the same kinda thing, but they start standing up. You win if you get a clean proper throw on the other guy, or a pin, or a submission from a choke or a lock. This was some proper nasty stuff and some AWESOME techniques. It was pr0.

Anyway what else...oh exam on friday that fucking sucked. Bah. A rag fashion show thing where there was lingerie and breakdancers...they did the whole run dmc thing in a big circle on the floor rofl. It was actually good stuff very cool I could do it better though ^^.

Oooh I'm grading to my yellow belt next sunday XD wahahaha! I gotta train like a biatch and learn all the godamned japanese names. Had a pregrading session today which was quite cool I think I'm improving (just in time).

Went out on an-after exams piss up I had the miss the curry coz I needed to go to jitsu but when I got there aidy was the worst I've ever seen him. Or at least the worst I ever remember seeing him. There was that one time at toga tequila when he was dancing on the tables with his cock flapping about. Hmm. Oh that reminds me so he goes around doing stupid stuff like going 'Hey mate you can't go to america!' to some asian guy then goes 'OH NO I'VE RUINED AMERICA FOR THE ASIANS! I'VE FAILED!' and throws a 3/4 can full of white ace (lol) at a billboard. Oh and once we got to the union there were like NO hot chicks and one was coming on to me bleugh. There were also two guys dancing totally naked but dancing normally and walking around and stuff. It was...strange..yet hysterical. After that because noone else wanted a billy bunters it was a lonely walk back with only a gutbuster to keep me company. Which I ate when I got back into my kitchen. Oh yeah and then there was an after party where we took photos of a nice girl in hot lingerie. Unfortunately the photos are on my phone, but she had very nice boobs take it from me.

Oh yes and THE ALIENWARE CAME BACK!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH! Which explains why I have an essay that should have been in by last night but which I haven't even FUCKING STARTED!!! AAAAAAAARGH! On a brighter note, I HAVE, in a rather comical fashion, take Rome and most of Italy. I also have from southern Greece all the way up to Pripet and Scythia. It extends east to Noricum (almost German-French border). I have the remenants of the Greeks under my protectorate, and they control Pergamanum, which I have penned in strongly incase the peasants decide to uprise. I'm tempted to finish them off for the hell of it but I like Greeks and I like the trade. I have also taken a few cities along the coast east of Byzantium (the ones penning in Pergamum) Where should I extend next? YOU DECIDE!!!

1.)Britons to the North
2.)Julii (Roman family) to the West
3.)Egypt and Armenia to the East
4.)Scipii (Roman family) to the South, across the sea into northern Africa
5.)Scythians to the North East
6.)All of them at the same time

Strength and honor! FOR THE GLORY OF ROME!

2005-03-04T04:50:00.000Z

Ok so apart from not doing any work AGAIN(!) another cool day occured..today. Anywhoo, we had communication skills which consisted of being talked to by blind people and people that worked with deaf people. The deaf one was cool we learnt a bit of sign language I'll try it out when I see you fags. I asked people to marry me, said I was going to the park to walk my dog, 'I'm a laady', I like boys, I want you, You're hot, Hey baby lets go for a drink and all this kinda shit. It was pro funny. Oh and lipreading I said pretty much the same things (but didn't get any in return apart from mainly 'no'...to which I replied 'aww' :(...)

In the blind one, we went around feeling our way (excuse to feel boobies hehehehehe). I also left a message in a recorder thing saying 'you suck' heeheehee. Ah good times. Anyhow, then I went to Liverpool street to get a haircut from Toni&Guy ;) which cost 40 quid!!! Extortionate eh. Or it would be if I wasn't so damned loaded aha-ha. Oh well it's worth it when you look THIS good. Apres-ca (with a hook on the c and an accent) I got a muvvers day card which I wrote lovingly and came back here. Watched stuff with Aidy Rob and Aidys gf Libby. When jackass came on Aidy started dancing to partyboy and stripped off down to his pants and danced all over Rob. I have some of it on video I'll see if I can post them soon.

2005-03-02T18:48:00.000Z

A little something for Will / Rob...

Click 'Play movie' and away you go!

2005-03-01T04:15:00.000Z

Haha a very cool start to the week...kinda. Missing my morning lectures and waking up just in time for the end of my learning landscapes at 4.30, I did some shit and then came and messed around with the flatmates. I said hi to Rob and immediately stabbed him hard with my plastic sword just below the sternum such that he doubled over. Then I learned that over the weekend Aidy fucked up some ligament in his ankle or something (now on crutches) and had his car broken into, with his £200 bag containing all his years lecture notes and good books in being stolen from out the back. His girlfriend also got pissed off because he lied to her about going somewhere. Still, this didn't stop us playing extreme hackysack (throwing hackysacks at each others crotches where I got smacked first with the big hackysack HARD, throwing ice cubes at full pelt at each other and him putting a whole tray of icecubes down his pants. And me taking his crutches and pretending to be totally really crippled and malco infront of the pizza delivery man and making him feel bad as I struggled and dropping the pizza and other box over the floor. Oh and smacking a ketchup bottle with his crutch and ketchup flying everyfuckingwhere. Hmm and ripping open a bag of salad bashing it on the table and throwing it across the room such that salad was everywhere. And then we had a nice peaceful session of ratemyboner, ratemyboobies and ratemymanboobies. And fugly.com. And google image searches of hairy muffs and enormous clitori.

Makes you wonder why we need to drink so much, eh...

2005-02-28T04:29:00.000Z

aaaah...yeaaaah. somewhere over the rainbow..wa-way up higgghh..theres a land that I heard of once......hubert cumberdale! fancy seeing you here!

Well hello there, young childs.

I have travelled lands far and wide, wrecked and ravaged through rapid rivers, made mockery mostly by mountainous mountains, and persevered their pretty perilous peaks in order to bring you this public service announcement:

Don't whizz against a tree, you never know when the tree will open a can of coke and swallow it down with a teacloth and belch in your face! TEACLOTH FACE!! AHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!! You're a rotter, Mr Grinch. Plastic heart. Death of Evian and sword of For.Totses swiss army knives riven with guilt over Bruce Lee Wallet keys. Mixed herbs simmered over lea and perrins OMFHG!!!!11111111 !!!OGM! RUN FRO TEH HILZ!!!111 CANC3R!! I R T3H POWNEDzORD¬! Oops!

Anyway where was I...ah yes. I'm going to post some dreams I had a little while ago, see if anyone can interpret them for me :D kthxbye. A little warning; these are written exactly as they were when I woke up, so if they don't make too much sense sorry. I'll give them a quick look over but thats it :D.

At school
Party in some hall saw someone from school thought it was someone else from uni.
Went to a table where there was one guy (didnt recognise him) started talking about what i was doing (med student here etc.) then his friends came over and all the girls had the most green green eyes ever. Apart from this fat chick who talked to me and got in my face and introduced me to everyone and wouldnt shut up and let me talk to them myself. I got the feeling of loads of people watching and thinkking i was trying to get off with her or something.
Left found rob who didnt notice me as i was wearing sunglasses and other things covering my face or something so i walked right up to him and stood over him and he did nothing then I took my stuff off and hes like woah hey Jim and then something happens shit can't remember from here.

Wish i could remember and describe the buildings outside and stuff arg it feels similar to places in my dreams iv been before.

Went through Felsted science block (Came in through a backdoor, who one of the science ppl said everyhone does now), met headmaster guy, saw old woman teaching in some weird clothes like a veiley dress surrounding her

NEXT DREAM

Bird - emus, other birds in big chicken barn thing but not chickens - id do something to them like scare them or try catch em or something and theyd go outside - get the odd bites - this time one bird (not a normal one) with long curved beak like one of those small sand runner things bit finger on left hand index. Wouldnt let go. tried prying open, pulling away, shaking, twisting but nothing. finger was hurting now. grabbed back of bird and pulled hands apart. Beak comes off in my hand bird without beak there. As it breathes this blue purple fluid pumps out and the beak-skin junction bit flaps. I want to put it out of its misery so i break its neck badly but its still alive coz didnt break neck properly, break it again still not that clean. Take off head. see oesophagus , peel down skin, can see the oesophagus running down the bird, all blood vessels have this purply blue blood in them this seems normal as theres a fluid running in channels on the floor that looks exactly like it, as if if the bird had been drinking / eating this it made sense that its blood was like this.

ANOTHER NIGHT
on a submarine, have party haz P jimmy there. haz is asleep jimmy has duct tape and hes holding it above haz eyebrows and were laughing about removing them. jimmys to the left of me haz is sitting just off centre to the right centre of me in a large antique style red leather armchair.
next day or whatever there loadsa ppl aboard theres this puzzle really important like have really obscue clues for a murder of someone or the whole last crew or something. cant remember exactly but lots of the dream was about this, and walking around ship. anyway in room, leave a few ppl with this girl and we walk down the corridor discussing it, and alarms and everything start going off. manage to run to the end she doesnt make it through before the doors lock up. water gushes in and about, washes her away down the corridor. everyones like shit.

After water subsides and stuff - go out find this girl, most releived ever holding her in a corner and hugging and kissing and stuff as crew walk past to the left of me down the corridor. theres a door just behind me and to the left down the corridor. anyway loads of people walk past there were some really random ones and other ones, shaking their hands saying 'thank god youre alive' stuff like that. one of the people was david butler (!!!???) and haz. Then break off from girl after a while, go into a main room type place theres a party with food all on the table and people on seats around table and seats against the wall. Lots of people. AS i walk past the table i notice there are some foods such as a plate of jaffa cakes. there are two girls infront of me and i lean over and grab two jaffas. i walk to the far corner. i notice haz is sitting near the entrance, alone, with 2 seats between him and someone else. I go to sit by him, for some reason hes suddenly next to me, sitting at the table and we're talking. I say something about jimmy holding the tape by his eyebrows from last night and we're all having a laugh and jimmy says 'haha itd be better if you did it' and then we stop because i start to go on, and they bring me to the attention of hazs parents who are sitting right next to me for some reason.

Anyway earlier in the dream, i was in a beautiful forest on a hill that slanted gently left in a mountainous region. View amazing.was with two other people, cant remember now who they were or what we were doing. I think i remember some sort of danger, being followed in the forest or something, looking back etc. We had some water with us, and I can't remember what else but they were vital because I put one on the ground and pheasants that were following us came up to the bag to see if they could eat it the way birds do. anyway when it went to peck, i would grab it by the neck and somehow I killed it and we put the water into a pan and boiled this pheasant. The meat was gorgeous and it gently fell off the bone it was so tender.

Anyway, thats all my kindred, farewell.

P.S. Click here for the home of salad fingers!!! New episode out!!!www.fat-pie.com

Enjoy the ride! :>

2005-02-13T23:08:00.000Z

Now as I did a post dedicated to Podgy (the Canada link), I thought it only fair to dedicate one to Prill, who informs me she recently had it up the poop chute. Incidentally, thanks for that. Anyway here you are!!!

2005-02-09T03:01:00.000Z

HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR!!!!!!
As it's an important day today, I'd like to share these Chinese proverbs with you. You've probably heard them all before but lets go:

Virginity like bubble, one prick, all gone.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Man who run in front of car get tired.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Man who run behind car get exhausted.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Man with hand in pocket feel cocky all day.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Foolish man give wife grand piano, wise man give wife upright organ.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Man who walk through airport turnstile sideways going to Bangkok.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Man with one chopstick go hungry.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Man who scratch ass should not bite fingernails.
*~*~*! ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Man who eat many prunes get good run for money.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Baseball is wrong: man with four balls cannot walk.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Panties not best thing on earth! but next to best thing on earth.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
War does not determine who is right, war determine who is left.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Wife who put husband in doghouse soon find him in cat house.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Man who fight with wife all day get no piece at night.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
It take many nails to build crib, but one screw to fill it.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Man who drive like hell, bound to get there.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Man who stand on toilet is high on pot.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Man who live in glass house should change clothes in basement.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Man who fish in other man's well often catch crabs.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Man who fart in church sit in own pew.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Crowded elevator smell different to midget.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

And just because I love you all so dearly, here's a bonus!!! :D

2005-02-05T17:09:00.000Z

Orange mocassins like yellow livered owlherders in spring onions.

This ones for Podgy eh...
0100001101101100011010010110001101101011001000000110100001100101011100100110010100100001

2005-01-25T03:40:00.000Z

Well it's too late for Christmas but it's never too late to do your bit for public health. So here we are, don't make the same mistake Rob's mum did. Many times.

12 STI's of Christmas

Oh and hell while I'm at it
McQuadruple Bipass

2005-01-25T01:45:00.000Z

Well to be honest it's been an awesome day. I though I'd mark this monumental occasion by posting (insert hurray here). Even though I had to get up for 9am lectures, they went alright. I stayed awake, and absorbed some. After lectures I felt good for an unapparent reason. After lectures I had a 'learning landscapes', which is where you usually go and prod bodies. Anyway this time was a little different. We had to get into groups of 9 or so and paint each other. Or rather all the BLOKES had to get their tops off (girls are really immature about the whole taking their tops off thing ;)) apart from in the all-girls room where I expect they were having trouble finding each others apex beats. Anywhoo, being one of two guys in a group of 8, I stripped off and stood there while four pairs of female hands ran all over my chest and back, and paintbrushes and sponges ran down my body and caressed my nipples. I was even ordered to 'bend over' by one of them. Oooh and I got signed. It really was quite fun. Here are some pictures. First person to label all of the structures shown correctly wins. Enjoy!

Ah the joys of being a medic :D.

2005-01-20T05:46:00.000Z

Even in the modern day, ascending Goron Mountain still proves challenging.

2005-01-19T21:31:00.000Z

Just so you know.

2005-01-16T02:39:00.000Z

Because no-one understands...

2005-01-04T16:52:00.000Z

A little cheerful humour coz I'm in a good mood...

New years blog update soon maybe.
Also Aussie one perhaps.
Was looking for a whole revamp but dont know if thatll happen.

2004-12-18T03:22:00.000Z

Issa me! Jimmio! Eh for you I have my especial! EH LUIGI BRING OUTTA DI MAINA COURSEA! HURREH T3H HELLA UP YOUU LAZY-A-FAG!!

Eh bonne appatitto!

2004-12-17T17:24:00.000Z

Ah this gave me a laugh hopefully you will derive the same pleasures.

2004-12-17T01:07:00.000Z

Just a quickie because I thought this was important. Will, dump Kaz m8. Here's your new perfect match: http://eqgal.blogspot.com/

*Offence not intended. Kaz m8, if you do get dumped, me and my boudoir are always here for you. Kthx bye!

2004-12-16T21:29:00.000Z

Ah hello there mortals. Another Jim tip for you today, largely because I'm bored. And you need to know these things.

JiM's Tips #2: Bum Sex

Find a willing (or heavily drugged) partner preferably with a 'fyne bootay'.
Obtain plentiful supplies of lubricant (not petroleum based like vaseline; these coat the intestine wall and create a microbial orgy-heaven - go for something like KY jelly).
CONDOMS. Important. Refer to tip #1; but go for the extra thick bum sex variety if you want to be extra safe. I know what you're thinking: 'but Jim, the extra thick condoms squeeze my willy and I can't feel a thing' well shut the hell up you pussy, do just do it and listen to this: After having bumsex, a man reported swelling and pain in his penis. He went (wisely) to the GUM clinic. There the doctor told him he had an infection and that the swelling was blocking his urethra. The doctor probed inside the mans penis and found the source of the blockage and infection; a piece of sweetcorn and the remenants of faeces. Now wear a condom, faggot.
Lube up to the max. Over the condom, up partners bunghole, all over fingers and anything else that will be doing anything useful.
If you're partner has never had it up the poop shoot before, you might want to loosen it up with some finger fun first. On the other hand, the shock factors always good. Just shove it up there when they dont expect it.
Start off slow and carefully; get into a smooth, gentle rhythm that you both feel comfortable with. The initial penetration will be uncomfortable for the receiver, but who gives a shit right? (excuse the pun).
Put some badass music on and get faster and faster and rough. Spank the receivers ass. Tell them what a dirty slut they are. Scratch their back and dig your nails in. If the receiver is a female, then rub the pubic area while you pump away you sick fuck you. If the receiver is a male, well its pretty obvious what you do. If your receiver is a man but you're pretending its a woman, then I suggest NOT touching the pubic region. And close your eyes.
WHATEVER YOU DO DON'T cross contaminate pussy with ass. Lots of nasty bacteria that wouldn't be nice getting put into the wrong place. If you do this you probably won't get pussy sex for a loooong time afterwards and maybe, heaven forbid, at all.
Take it from there, buddy. You don't tell me how to do my job after all. Be hygienic, but above all, have fun! Bum sex can be very spiritual and loving, as well as rabid and brutal. Experiment. Enjoy yourselves. I'd love to hear any experiences on the comments.

Once again, thank you for your time. Now get out there TIGER!

2004-12-15T23:32:00.000Z

Now being a future health professional and what have you, I decided it was time to hand out some advice to the local population; give back to society what it has given me and so forth. Anyway here we go...

JiM's Tips #1: The condom.
Put the condom on when the penis is erect, before there is any contact between the penis and your partners body. Fluid released from the penis during the early stages of an erection can contain sperm and organisms that can cause STI's. WARNING! If you are into watersports, it is recommended that you take the condom off before you choose to urinate.
Tear along one side of the foil being sure not to rip the condom inside. Carefully remove the condom. Do not tear with teeth as 1.) this may cause the condom to rip, 2.) lube doesnt taste nice and 3.) its just not sexy.
Air trapped inside a condom could cause it to break. To avoid this, squeeze the closed end of the condom between your forefinger and thumb and place the condom over the erect penis. Be sure that the roll is on the outside. If you have no opposable thumb, it is recommended that you seek assistance from your partner, or if partner is incapacitated, a friend/partner in crime.
While still squeezing the closed end, use your other hand to unroll the condom gently down the full length of the penis (this may take patience, especially if you are me). Make sure the condom stays in place during sex; if it rolls up, roll it back into place immediately. If the condom comes off, withdraw the penis and put on a new condom before intercourse continues. If you are man enough, staple the rolled end of the condom to the base of the erect penis. This will ensure the condom does not come off.
Soon after ejaculation, withdraw the penis while it is still erect by holding the condom firmly in place. Remove the condom only when the penis is fully withdrawn. Keep both the penis and condom clear from contact with your partner's body. Do NOT throw condom at partner / friends. Unless you think it will make you more popular.
Dispose of the used condom hygienically. Wrap the condom in a tissue and place it in a bin (do not flush it down the toilet as this may impregnate sewer turtles and create a race of hybrid mutants). Do this as sexily as possible.

There. I do hope this advice will be of some help to you all in the future and prevent even more retarded babies being born by mistake. Thankyou for reading.

2004-12-15T17:52:00.000Z

Right. This is it. I hope you're all ready because I sure as hell ain't stoppin' till I'm done with this once and for all. Finally, the entry you've all been waiting for, itching in your very skins to see, the one, the only JIMS FIRST PROPER HAPPY SUPER FAMILY UNIVERSITY BLOG!!!1111!!!!!111!!1!!*

*May not be suitable for family viewing
Anyway with no further adoo and certainly no more bull****, here it is...bearing in mind the first bit was and is written from scattered times whence I wrote it :D
*phew* Well hi. First blog since Uni they STILL havent properly sorted out the connection tha mother****aaaas. Freshers has been so pro thus far but its beginning to wear thin when I realise that I don't have mates like you guys around yet. Like not really cool people just convenience people or people I can actually remember the names of. Which isnt many XD. All the people in my flat seem alright theres some friendly drama ppl that always hang around in the gals room here so theres loads of people around. So theres 3 meds and 2 others in this ground floor flat. I really wanted a view the view from the top of the building is beautiful its the whole canary wharf and city skyline its awesome. Then again theres less distance to stagger if your on the ground floor. The student village is so awesome. Its got its own little shop with loads of crap in it and I managed to wake up at 3 to 9, get out of bed and actually get to lectures at 9:05! How great am I? Anyway yeah so Im always wearing the same hoodie and sandals so everyone reckons Im a stoner but hey =D. And they find it disturbing when I play with my knife all the time too. Its all actually good though. Started the lectures?yesterday?. Apart from all the boring crap useless ones theyre actually good I had a pbl too which is like a tutorial thing where you have to assess a situation and stuff. So I have work to do for next week grrr. But its so easy =D.

Anyway onto the freshers schtuff. Well first meeting the student parents. That was interesting. I met my dad he was alright, but I couldnt find my mom :(. Anyway I caught up with her some other night I think. Yeah shes a nice gal. Fit too. And all her friends are pretty dang fit. But nuthin compares to my little Emski :D. Anyway yeah so the next night was hypnotist night. Very very cool. Such a classic. Sigh. I wont bore ya with details but it WAS shit funny. Next night waaaaas beach party night! Yay! Bikinis and stuff! On the blokes. Eugh. Made sandcastles using bottles, pint glasses, bottlecaps and stolen construction sand.

Ok from now on its new stuff but I'm having to write it all tonight *sigh*. I guess I'll try and get rid of all the freshers stuff out the way then move on to how work is how the love life is how the intestinal parasite is and what I've been up to recently. Oh how I envy you all.

Right so next fresher event was the School Night (St.Trinians whatever the hell that is). Oooooh boy that was good :D. Yep the whole plaid skirt white stockings white shirts with ties and ahghghghghghg. Anyway not being able to get my grubby little mits on any for myself, I stuck with the good old family favorite of super tiny possibly 3rd or 4th form rugby shorts and an almost see through white shirt. The bulge in my shorts (caused by my phone, wallet etc.) was HUGE :D. Anyways yeah so that was dead sexy and I got to get some nice fresh air whilst I walked from the village to Whitechapel union and even nicer comments from all the girls commenting on my attire. Honestly show a little skin and EVERYONE wants you. The good thing about walking to the Union dressed like a prize **** is that you get all these funny looks and everything its great and we walk straight past the hospital its like 'Hi we're your future doctors :D'. Ah yes. Good times. Damn now Ems on how am I to finish??? Lol :D
Anyway yeah after that was the Freshers Fayre where I was constantly haggled by the Navy to join up :S. Either I look super manly athletic and hard or I look like a good Soap Retriever (anyone who doesnt get that dieplzkthx - or just ask me...or alternatively let it go). So I joined all the martial arts thingeys like aikido, kung fu and theres also stickfighting, jitsu, chinese kickboxing etc. that weren't represented but hey. Also the rowing and tennis and junk. On a side note I've also joined the 24 hour pool + snooker club down the road which is pretty darned awesome. I find it quite amazing how people can still play pool when wasted. I myself find that luck increases proportionally with drunkedness and I've had some awesome drunk games myself. Quite phenomenal.

Ah but I digress. Next came the Edinburgh play. I cant remember what the hell this was about so yeah I'll just leave it. Next up the infamous incredulous obscenely OBSENUOUS....TOGA AND TEQUILA NIIIIGHT!!!!!! Yeah this was cool.

Ha thought I was just gonna leave it like that didn't you. God how I love paragraphs. Ah but I digress again. Hokay so toga tequila ah yes well wasnt that orgasmic. Went to Whitechapel market and spent about an HOUR trying to find the perfect toga material. Whereas everyone else got boring nasty coloured ones I bought a fine printed black soft thick toga with some gold and dark green lace stitching on the edges. It truly is a fine garb. And yes I still wear it rather reguarly. In one incident I was wearing it in Charlies room with Rob and someone walked past the window and looked at me funny and I was like 'Er is there something on my toga?'. Thats pretty much how used to it I am. 2 pounds per metre. 6 squids overall! For such fine clothing I recommend Whitechapel market its brilliant :D. Hopping the bus and having others hop on at different stops was great so funny. Add random people asking us 'Is there a toga party tonight or something?' just to top it off made the night a great success in my books. They made the triple tequilas cheaper than the singles. Nice people eh. I went into that place with 60 quid and I don't think I came out with any. Sigh. So many triples. Uuuugh don't wanna think about it.

Next event? Why that would be the DIRTY DOCTORS AND NAUGHTY NURSES!!! WAHEEY!!! Now I think here was where I rode a giant penis (rodeo style) and chatted up some inflatable sheep and girls, both of which had several inviting orifices. EVeryone was dressed up so hot mmmmmmm pvc nurse outfits on the guys and the girls it was erotic. I myself wore my white coat and some short swimming shorts underneath (for the pockets).

Then after some other stuff it was on to the last freshers event, the Boat Ball. AND I HAD GOTTEN TICKETS FOR ME AND EM!!! HEHEHEHE!!! That was an awesome night, Em attired herself in the most beautiful black dress and I went for the 'comical Jim' appearance by wearing a DJ and looking obligatorarily lame. Ah yes and my trousers were huge around the waist (later finding that I hadn't lost weight by being at Uni, but merely having my Dads trousers. Sigh). Anyway I hooked a quicksilver belt around them and borrow Adrians purple bow tie and thing that goes around ur waist to cover up the belt. It was very amusing. It started to rain just as we got on the boat so we quickly rushed inside and entered the sturdy vessel. Now the theme was heaven and hell and as usual Em looked rather heavenly and I looked like I had been dragged through the cess pits of hell. But meh. So upstairs of the boat was heaven, with white helium filled balloons getting in my face all the damned time so I had to bend down to see anything. Emma and I thought it most prudent to stroll up on the top deck amid the city lights around the River Thames so we did and it was good. Indeed we stayed there for a long while, Emma herself commenting that I wasn't being very social, for we stayed there fondling and hugging and kissing and talking for some time. Then we decided we wanted to go down to hell for our sins and so we went. Red lighting and red balloons. Excellent. Anyways so we fondled etc. sucked helium and TRIED to go to the toilets (which incidentally were disgusting - literally filled with a few inches of urine and vomit on the floor, toilet blocked up with vomit and tissue, argh all ghastly, and the womens was blocked by my mates girl at the time who was being sick all night). Anyway after being told to get a room lots we took some pictures of our cruise (most ended up blurred :@) and so ended a beautiful night.

Well hokay its been a few weeks since I've put all of that together and I can't quite remember the order of some of the other stuff thats happend so bear with me. Oh and apologies for the random bouts of weirdness above I just read it back :S lol.

Anyway one major thing that I wont forget in a while was the Barts Boat Club dinner (girls n boys). So we walk to Brick Lane and manage to fit everyone in this tiny looking curry house. We cant buy alcohol there because its against their religion or something stupid like that. So we stop off at the offy first and pick up some bottles of wineage. I hung with Raphael (aka Raff, or Teo) as we got the drinks and found seats conveniently next to the girl he was working on. Anyway yeah so by the time the poppadoms came we had been drinking quite alot but it hadnt hit yet. Some people were already on their way out of it and were making people do teaspoon fulls of the hot poppadom stuff. So funny. Anyway yeah so then they started waterfalls where you had to get up and say 'FOR THE BOAT CLUB' and down whatever it was that you had. Lucky I went for the glasses of wine instead of the big bottles of tiger. So yeah alot of them and we were rapidly running out of wine. The girls gave us their full bottle which was nice. So the meal came and the drink still hadn't fully kicked in just the tipsiness. Which is always good when you're trying to have a curry without spilling it down you. So yeah after that or maybe halfway through we ran out of wine and the guy opposite had this huge frosty bottle of Tiger so me and Raff went out to get some drink. He said he was already 'fookin pissed!!!!' so I took the Tiger and went back. The drink was hitting in now and we had a merry laugh at all the crack addicts and people trying to sell us their restaurants. When we found the way back, the loudness had upped significantly and ittle while into that the older rowing guys started to do songs. Started off with the Barts songs and things then onto Father Abraham. The song went something like this:

Father Abraham, seven sons he had,
Seven sons had faaather Abraham
And he never laughed, And he never cried,
All he did was go like this:
'To my leeeft [motion left],
and to my riiight [motion right]'
Jackets/ties/shirts/shoes/trousers/socks/boxers offff
Father Abraham... [repeat until all above clothing items off, repeating each item of clothing that has already come off as well as the new article - ask me when you see me if in doubt ;)]

Anyway yeah the main result of this being all the older guys stripping totally naked, getting on the tables or around them and jumping/walking around with their rather small packages swinging. I must point out that it did make me feel rather good about myself. But anyway, yeah so that was a pleasant end to the evening. Oh. Apart from going back to the union and getting even more wasted. That was a nasty morning.

(Few weeks later)...

Halloween was a dress up night. Some cool assed costumes such as an AWESOME beetlejuice, a pro satan and a sexy professional Vamp. Got drunk.

Annnnyway so what now. Erm.Things I've been doing. Right well. Rowing. Pretty cool can get tiring as hell. Carl and I made lots of jokes about how all the ladies love our 'cox' :D (cox is the position in the boat where they shout at you, but, phoenetically speaking, could be misinterpreted as 'cocks' which was the intended intension. Just for those special people out there).

Jujitsu. Ah this is quite cool. An excuse for throwing people on the ground by their heads, tripping them up and generally beating people. And whats better is that to start off with you show 'no hard feelings' by bowing bwahahahaha. Suckers.

Kickboxing. Very VERY cool. Everything you'd expect. Some funny chinese guys that keep calling the guy 'Masta' as a joke. An AWESOME guy thats fast become my idol. His kicks are amazing. And we actually talked when we went to a Nandos kickboxing dinner *sigh* (l). Ahem.
Stickfighting. The same kickboxing crowd with the same instructor guy. Very awesome. These guys are so friendly even though theyre teaching you to beat people shitless. Got a really fast stick routine up with one of the guys there. Said I leart very fast. w00t!

Hmm what else is there...get along WELL with PBL group they (WERE...theyre changing next term :(...) awesome. Me and this girl had the rest of the group going the whole term by making them think we were Ex's and making comments on such matters the whole term. Funny situations. Told them all today (last PBL day) that it was a joke. They all felt stupid. Tried to steal my cap. Had crap hair. Ran away.

Oh and there was a fight in a chicken shop where my flatmate and a few others were beaten with belts by some posse. So funny. Bruises all over faces, cuts etc. All good hehehe.
Erm what else can I add...Em making me get a rubber toooop, going out with Em places but you don't want to hear any of that =D. Errrrrrm...FIREWORKS NIGHT. Thatll do. We went to some palace place or something and had cheesey jackets (I had beans too). Got sherbert fountains. Arrived late to the place so missed fireworks. Saw fireworks elsewhere from the hill. Grrr.
Another date with Em was spent watching Bridget Jones 2 which wasnt as bad as I had predicted I'll admit. Aside from Em constantly on the verge of orgasm due to Colin Firth (may Lucifer take his soul) the time was awesome. Missed the last underground trains back to my pad and the buses had also stopped so I had to walk from Liverpool Street to the Gherkin (or towering inuendo) to try to navigate back. Finding a cash machine I then got a cab to the top of Aldgate and walked from there. Nice evening really. Peaceful. =D

Well sorry about the noting structure of the blog at the end there I should really be working instead so I kinda cut it shortish. I was going to leave this till some other time to post but right now I really can't be arsed. So, I apologise. Thank you all, and goodnight =D

2004-12-12T02:10:00.000Z

Well hi. No this isnt the big one. Itll probs be up after christmas, in this year or the next :D. I wish it was just already done. Sigh. Shoulda done it when i had time. Ah well. Do blogs degenerate by the way if you dont update?

Anyway some stories:
Black and White
So I'm on the bus feeling sexy and looking fine and heading back to the flat. This black guys standing next to me and as we stop this weird looking white guy steps on. He asks the bus driver 'Can you give me a ticket mate' and the drivers like no you get them from the machine outside. So hes like 'What? cant I just get one here?' (bearing in mind the ticket machines JUST outside). So the drivers like no you have to get them from the machine. So hes like WTF cant you just give me a fucking ticket?!!? and this black guys like 'You have to get them from the machine' in an accent. The white guy turns around and goes 'DONT TELL ME WHAT TO DO IN YOUR FUCKING LANGUAGE' 'LEARN SOME FUCKING ENGLISH' or something and then he goes out and gets a ticket. He comes back in and goes 'Yeah go back to your fucking country' and soon afterwards 'If you wanna tell me what to do then wait till the next stop and we'll get off' or something. Then the black guys like 'You might regret it' and whiteys like 'Yeah well if I'm sorry I'm sorry' or something. Anyway an absolute classic =D hehe. I wanted to see the black guy beat the white guy to death and then a crowd of white guys come and lynch the black guy. That woulda made my week.

The Christmas Play
Hehe this was awesome. Lots of anti-arts/humanities student comments, anti QM student comments, lecturer impressions, sexual references (including Bond saying 'Excuse me I have to go wash off the faint tinge of chlamydia' and also including some song that was like 'If you wanna know if he blew his load, its in your muff...(thats where it is) wooooah woah its in your snatch/minge/cunt/hole etc.'. ... 'Is it in your eyes woah no that really stings' 'Is it in your mouth woah nooo that really mings' etc. Anyway so that was cool. Anyway there were some gay guys in the front row and this fat bloke on stage said something like 'Hmm what should I do' and one of the fags was like 'Get liposuction' so the fat guys like '...Yeah you should get a CD4 count' (which is a diagnostic tool for HIV/AIDS). So that was classic.

The after-christmas party Union piss up
Well this WOULD speak for itself but it was just especially funny coz it was Joes birthday. We pitched in and got him a dirty pint (assuming itd be beer with a few shots thrown in). The barkeep starts off with some zambuca, adds the aftershock and some other vodka, gin, whiskey then finishes with a blue reef (for flavour I guess :P) then tops it off with more shots. Joe finishes the whole thing in two. Truly sickening. Anyway so me Sandib and Rich were there and Rich says 'Hey that girls pretty fit...but she looks like something off bo selecta' ROFL!!!! And later on 'Hey she looks really nice...until you see her face.' hahaha. Sigh. Anyway yeah that and having a big argument with some older guys about who was next on the pooltable were the main highlights. Oh and being looked over and asked about by the gay guys previously mentioned. One guy was at the bar and he looked at me and then whispered something into this other guys ear who then looked around and they both sat there looking. Eugh *shudders*. Needless to say I had great sex that night...with my hands. Over women. I mean er one SPECIAL woman =D. Er no wait....ugh.

Anyways there you are maggots enjoy your gruel and I'll catch you sometime

2004-12-04T20:57:00.000Z

DIE DIEI DIEI DIEI DIEIDIEIDIEIDIDIDIEEIDIEDIEIDIEIDIEIDIDIE DIEIDIEIDEIDIEDIEIDIEDIEIDIEIDIEIDIDIEIDIEDIEIDIEIDIEIDIDIE
IDIEDIEIDIEIDIEIDIDIEIDIEDIEIDIEIDIEIDIDIEIDIEDIEIDIEIDIEIDID
IEIDIEDIEIDIEIDIEIDIDIEIDIEDIEIDIEIDIEIDIDIEIDIEDIEDIEIDIEIDI
EIDIDIEIDDIEIEDIEIDIEIDIEIDIEIDIEIDIEDIEIDIEIDIEIDIDIEIDIEDIE
IDdDEIDIEIDIDIEIDIE!!!!2111[1i21opehjpo2jrojr!!

2004-12-01T21:12:00.000Z

Ah just spent an awesome tuesday and wednesday with Em. I met her at Paddington and we went on to Regents park and walked around in the rose gardens and around the stream until we almost couldn't see. Mmm. Anyway at the park she gave me this really really nice cozy scarf. We saw the London Eye whilst in the park so we decided to go and give it a twirl (I know that was terrible I apologise). Anyway that was soooo cool apart from the random drunk Eye line controller guy that wanted Em to dance for him lol. After an exceptionally fine McDonalds meal to complete the evening, we came back and then we came back to get some munchies and watched Die Another Day with maoam dry apricots and ice cream. Then I went to lectures the next morning whilst she stayed in bed, and when I returned she had cleaned all my clothes from the floor! Incredible. Just a small amount of recognition and gratitude since I don't know what else to do in return right now. So thankyou so much for everything Em you're incredible ({)

Oh yeah and also we watched http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/flash/bunny.php and Em got teary!!! Bwahahahah :P

2004-11-15T15:16:00.000Z

I played Generals on my Alienware and it was so gorgeous I wanted to cry.

More on this later!!!! =D! After the long one that is...hmmm...its coming along don't fret little ones

2004-11-05T02:37:00.000Z

ARGH! I have a clogged shower drain :'(. Wheres a hot young eager plumber when you need one *snarls*.

Sigh I flooded out half the corridor and half my room having a late night shower drunk and didnt notice the room was flooded out. And Im pretty sure I got into bed wet.

Anyway, proper update soon! I'd promise but I'd be scared of breaking it :P

Ciao giblets x

2004-10-28T01:27:00.000Z

MAN do I have great cleavage! BOOYAH!

*russian accent activated*
Better luck next time, SLUGHEADS!

2004-09-18T01:06:00.000Z

Ah. Feeling better now. My changes in moods astounds me. I was really depressed a few hours ago, and just talking makes it turn the other way. Incredible. Ive gone from listening to Deftones : Minerva to Korn Here to Stay. Ive had a **** day again. Early morning not enough sleep no brekkers so I started so good at driving today but then it all went to ****. Sigh.

*Hours later* Well Ive just packed up a load of my room junk still havent done my clothes got my books downstairs...that just about would cover it. Still got insurance and student stuff to look at but I'll feel like doing that tomorrow. If anyone didnt know Im off to uni tomoz so I guess thats it for a while. Maybe the odd weekend. Wont see much of any of you for quite some time probably. Sigh. Ive got a really good memory walking into lunch that Im holding on to =D makes me smile. Missing everyone alot. I'll probably be jamming stuff from uni thatll be really boring n stuff so thats something to look forward too right? :D Anyways....

Everyone have fun with what your doing, take good carea yourselves and keep everyone else informed. Love you all x

2004-09-15T13:18:00.000Z

Well howdy pilgrims. Yeah Im back here on my good old chair in my good old room surrounded by lots and lots of my good old junk. Still haven't gotten around to cleaning my room lol. Finally Im a very happy excited scared chappy. Went to London yesterday saw my accomo and did some stuff (where this woman was flirting with my dad O_O...the bastard :P) which was all good got all 8 books off a reading list for an extortionate price which was a bonus. Also got a good laugh at some freaks on the trains. Always fun.

Yep Unis gonna be some ride. I saw that my freshers is a fortnight. TWO WEEKS of freshers!!! WAHAHAH! Itll be crazy. Everything looks very good but everythings also daunting. Have to pack and make lists of what needs to be taken go out shopping (for a lava lamp :D) n junk like that. Oh yeah and the alienwares in stage 4 of the ordering. Dont ask me what that is but its better than stage 1 I guess :D. Too tired and hungry to think or write any more. Gonna go game. Buh bye all x :D

2004-09-11T07:36:00.000Z

Ugh. What a ****y day. My moods been up and down like a whore on crack for days now. And right now I have a headache. Ive also been tired ALL the time for days now. I dont know what it is.

So anyway what have I been up to...I cant remember where I got up to. Been shopping smore. Pretty damn fed up of that now. Shopping with women is the worst thing EVER in the world. No exaggeration here. When your tied up with your rents and sis its maximised to full ****ness. Dad has the cash. I dont know where stuff is. Therefore Im forced to walk around looking like a godamned beaten puppy after the two women with my dad. Its sickening. Then handed the bags when they ACTUAL DECIDE they want to buy something. Thats the most annoying thing. Women can spend hours in a shop trying things browsing pointing yapping all that crap AND THEN NEVER BUY ANYTHING. I walk into a store walk around looking if theres nothing I see I like I just go sit down and wait. If theres something I like I do the usual might try it on if Im sure and voila done. Sigh. Enough about that Iv just been shopping all today too. Oh and coz we have to keep moving to get everything that they want I dont really get much of a chance to look around stores that I might like or things I might oddly want to buy. A very good example being a large golden coated thing saying 'KR3W' I shit you not. Oh and a REALLY nice bit of jewellery that maybe one of you ladies might have liked that was this really nice onyx gothy looking crucifix set in gold/silver with a cool lookin chain and backset. Looked so damned sexy I cant explain it. Wish I had gotten that KR3W thing though :(. Jewellery wudda looked good in use though.

Ugh so whats been pissing me off today...well as usual I felt pretty dead when I woke up and YESTERDAY (sorry have to sidetrack) the phone bursts into ringing right next to my ear and its possibly one of the most annoying rings youll ever hear. Rents come in and want to pick it up and miss it. It rings again, they come in again AND MISS IT. Finally they take it out. All because my sis had previously taken it into the room and had it right next to my bed. Anyway TODAY she came in and was shouting something about get the hell out of bed I need to phone Ross (bf) so would I consider moving to somewhere else (in less nice phrase). Unwilling to make things worse I rolled out of bed and crawled out the door onto the sofa. Hours later and I hear she comes off the phone so Im all like hey woot I get to go online and talk to ppl. I go turn it on go back to the sofa and next thing I know sis is using the computer. Im all like what the hell and shes like 'im doing something for mom'. Lousy *****. Anyway so after a few more hours I get online and noones online. Great. Add to that Ive got a piss annoying trojan again coz of AOL and outlook :@ and I need to go thru the proper gayer procedures for it when I get back. Got away without using them last time. Sigh.

So then I get kicked offline so we can go boarding. Cool. Well yeah it WAS very cool I gotta admit I was gettin some kickass jumps today but then coz I was trying new stuff I was falling alot and my last big fall made me forget alot I think I concussed myself lol. Landed on my face anyhow so my neck bent backwards and my legs and board bent over backwards so my spine was kinda bowed alot. Major pain. Backs killing me and thats where I got this bangin headache from.

After that it just went downhill I got all depressed about everything and that about rounded up the evening where we went shopping then to some restaurant where I had a hair in my milkshake (not head either) and some wrong wrong chicken strips. It was opposite victorias secret so the view wasnt too bad I guess. Still not great when your feeling down. Oh yeah and while they were yapping I saw this real old guy with a young hottie at his arm which prompted my dad to give me advice that I should just get escort girls to go to events with me coz apparently girlfriends I get probably 'wouldnt be that good looking'. Odd thing was I found myself completely uninterested in anything including women. Ok LARGELY uninterested. I just felt like laying down in peace and quiet someplace. When I got back home I just sat in the living room in the dark and was having a great time until someone turned on the lights and the tv. Sigh. The most annoying thing is I cant really be properly depressed around here. I gotta maintain at best an indifferentness that doesnt suggest depression or else I get bugged about 'whats wrong' and attempts at cheering up and **** like that all the time. I mean thanks but no thanks you know? Theres a period in being down when you actually dont want any type of help you just want to feel like shit for a while until you feel good enough for help to work. Thats the worst thing feeling really bad on the inside but not being able to properly let it out. Still managed a giggle at whos line is it anyway thats possbily my favorite show around. Cheers me up for a half hour or two. So now Im sat here in the kitchen with a caning back and a headache and a big load of ibuprofen that I dont use (dont beleive in medicine ;)). And some more JC's :). Cant get enough of em they do something for me that nothing else can ;).

What else annoyed me...ah yeah shopping for a little girlfriend of a nephew who wants a 'Bratz' top or something. Now this girls something like 8 or 10 or something and these dolls and the idea behind the stuff is about fashion and make up and all that kind of crap. This is wrong. All the pictures of these cartoony made up good looking girls on the top of a 8-10 year old?! They shouldnt be into make up and shit like that. Its wrong in my opinion to be making a sort of role model-ideal style type of figure for young girls. If that made sense. I cant think very well right now. All bullshit I know but still clearly wrong. Its hard trying to explain that and have a decent conversation about that kinda stuff with my dad. Infact I just plain gave up. I got sick of regular girls the other day I just didnt want any of it. Its quite interesting to just sit in a popular clothing store and just kinda sit back and watch people coming and going. Its odd really. Some people float around pawing the odd shirt which they clearly have no interest in and seem to go about it randomly then leave with nothing. Some people go in and love trying things on they get hella loadsa stuff and go put it all on then get out of there with a few items. But ALL of them as they walked past this one mirror, when they were in the clothes that they came in they all walked past this mirror and looked at themselves like they were ****ing incredible. Some did their hair or smiled to themselves as they went past or something. It was really pretty funny guess you shoulda been there. Anyway this one store actually PAYS like young model people to wear their clothes and just hang around inside their store, theyre not really store clerks or anything they just get paid to show off themselves and look good. Insane really. I kinda got sick with the whole people being good looking or wanting to be thing around that time also considering theres alot of plastic surgery cowboy shows out here and the mtv vmas and shit like that all that cosmetic or just plain aesthetic stuff really pissed me off right now for some reason. Too much crap around I guess. Those lance armstrong bracelets also pissed me off too. Now I know its for charity n shit but I was walking around trying to find some for sis who REALLY needs one just coz theyre the cool thing to wear or something. ****ing pathetic I think. Then my rents are like are you gonna wear one n stuff Im like uuuh no. Ugh and in this shop they played this TERRIBLE dance shit for hours and hours uuuuuuuuugh :@. Dont get me wrong I love their clothes but just the attitude and the music and the uugfgdghshidfahsf.

Anyway I think tomorrows the last day here or something. I need a break from family I think. Unill probably do me good. Gonna be strange meeting so many new people I guess coz Ive been the the same school all my life. So Im pretty boned. Gotta be confident and positive and er interesting and erm...what else...just be myself or something? Yeah right. Gotta buy loadsa stuff sign loadsa papers and move alotta junk in. Might be fun though. Daunting but Im sure itll work out somehow. Itll have to.

See THIS is what you get when I havent spoken to anyone for a while. A big pile of crap. Speaking of that I still feel like utter crap I think Id better go to bed and die. Check ya tomorrow

Much love all x

2004-09-08T07:31:00.000Z

Song stuck in head: (8) We built this city on roooock and rooooll. -.-...

Well hi I'm gonna ASSume your all fine coz I aint gonna ask. Im pretty damned sure I posted before this so I guess the publishing phucked up or something. Sigh.

So yeah I tried out my shiny new bindings the other day theyre SWEET. at $350 dollars theyd better be right? Lousy pikeys. Anyway theyre aweomse they work on a wire system so you just crank until you get the right pressure and push to release. Very tight fit though need lots of lube. Luckily I have a lot just in case. So yeah I cranked me binds into my better board and out we go. It was ****ing AWESOME!!!!!! Seriously the control over it and the extra speed instead of using the ghey beginners board thing like I had been. Oooh. And the boots were perfect even when I crashed out. Awesome ones. Money well spent. Incidentally this was in the old post so if I publish and it comes up then stfu noobs.

Ah day before yesterday, at that time we went to the ballpark to watch a game. It was actually pretty pro even though I was kinda upset the whole evening.

Yesterday, horseracing. I didnt have a clue but I won $20 dollars off a $3 bet and mom won $84 on another bet of the same size. Quite phenomenal. Anyway I wasnt watching the horses there was WAY too much tail to see. Mm. Even my sis remarked on the number of implants there. It was all good neways.

Anyway enough crap about the distant past what did I do today...well I was dead until late morning when I dragged my cadaver into the bathroom so we could go to seaworld. Yay. Got some cool pics even though the park was being gayer about certain stuff but nm that. Petted some dolphins. Flirted with some sealions. Groped a few rays. Its all good. LOTS of cute ladies there too. After that we went to 'old town' or someplace where there was this bang up italian and some cool shops. Saw so many fucking cool gnarled crucifixes there it was so awesome. My family tend to give me real funny looks and walk away when I do that so I was happy.

On the way back in the car I figured out the mystery of american radio. What I figure is that during the day theyre thinkin right all the white sk8r bois are gonna be out hittin ramps so we'll play no shitty punk or emo during the day k? Instead they figure that during the day all the homebois are gonna be doin drivebys an shit so theyre like we'll play all the shitty hip hop rnb junk during the day k? Then at night theyre like oh the sk8r bois will have come in and will be sitting alone in the dark waiting for some soothing emo or punk shit so we play that now. The homebois will be out pimpin' so we aint gonna play any of that crap music. Anyway asides from that I found some GOOD assed music on the rock stations at this time of night (no not punk you ****ing idiot who listens to that **** anyway). Some damned cool metal comes on and so as you do you turn it all the way up. Everyone in the car shouts at me. I turn it down. Everyone says change the fucking garbage over. 3 against one in a godamned democratic car I cant do anything. I have to turn it over until everyones happy. Its ****ing wrong :@. I never found out what the song was. Sigh.

As you can tell Im very pissed off at everything AGAIN. Tonight we all had the discussion of me and girls at uni I quote 'Stay away from the 'slapper' girls alot of them are nutty and most have some sort of veneral disease'. Also apparently most girls doing medicine are nutters too. Sigh. What do they take me for. Over dinner too I mean really come on what the hell is that about. Then we get onto the old how many partners we had what a good body mom used to have and all that sickening shit that I would kinda have preferred to ram a fork repeatedly underneath my fingernails if I didnt have to listen to it. Sigh. Anyway Jimbo n Prill you guys come when I get back before you leave screw all that Ill be sleeping shit k? Good.

Oh yeah and Im itching like a godamned screwy possum here coz I burned a little. Bought some cool trinkets though so in a way thats good. And some kickbooty sandals. Finished Da Vinci code I made it last as long as I could. Oh yeah and the quake didnt come. Quel suprise. The biatch over at the scripps place heard that it was meant to be on the night of the 5th sept but whatever. I think Ill depart with some of my favorite lyrics from a song off the wedding singer right now:

'Somebody kill me pleeease,
Somebody kill me pleeeeeeease,
IM ON MA KNEES, PRETTY PRETTY PLEASE,
KIIIIILL MEEEEEE
I WANT TO DDIIII-III-IIIIE
PUT A BULLET IN MA HEEEEEEEE-EEE-EEE-EEE-EEAAAAAAD'.

Great song. Everythings just pissing me off so much right now. Doing golf tomorrow isnt gonna help. Ugh. Heads swimming. Thinking too much. Need to calm down, get laid, think straight. Sigh. Well I guess I should get some shuteye or something.

Night night all

2004-08-30T19:01:00.000Z

Buenos dias monkeybutts itsa me Jimio. Youll have to forgive me Im eating some very nice jaffa cake rip-offs right now. Cant ...stop...so...hungry. Anyway what have I been doing all this time? Er. Thats a good question. Ill come back to that. Brb more jaffa cakes. I could go ask the governor for some pizza??? =P Hed be all like 'You vant something craaazy like brocolli and i kill you'. (Clue: consider my current location and match location with this famous actor turned politician). Extra points for the soul that first posts the full name and his country of origin k?

Right well lets start with annoying shit thats happend so far. I broke my favorite bindings whilst boarding. GHEY. What could possibly be more annoying than breaking you favorite bindings Uncie Jim? Well having to go out and buy some more. I have to travel to some godforsaken store to get some gheyer bindings with my dad driving :@. What else. Oh yeah the gay drinking limit. That REALLY hacks me off. Ive run out of jaffa cakes O_O. Anyway yeah after a gay game of golf where I did absolutely **** we all head back to the clubhouse and as you can imagine im very badly pissed off and really really hot coz ya know thats just the way I am. Anyway so Im in there and they get this BIG jug of frosty beer and Im like drooley but I cant get any. As always. Oh and I broke the line on my favorite boogie board too. So gay. Oh and Iv caught nothing fish wise either. What can I say I just plain suck.

So good things. Well I actually GOT boarding the sea was comparatively warm and I got a chance to wear my skin tight 10% spandex keep-you-warm shirt thing which was just plain sexy. Mmmm. Add to that shorts that seemed to WANT to come off and youve got a winner. As far as hotties go Im mildly dissappointed with this holiday. At worst I've only seen two super hotties. One on the aforementioned beach and one today who was a receptionist at the new gym spa place. This second one was mmm mmm mmm you know tall slim nice lips kinky and gorgeous ^^ all the characteristics of a truly hot babe. This particular one had blonde hair and really sexy brown eyes great face structure a bangin bod and fantasmic legs. Needless to say Im a deprived guy. Very very deprived. Sigh. Anyway yeah enough of that crap. The gym was cool. That was the point of this section of paragraph. Oooh yeah and Iv been informed I should start taking protein shakes =D.

For any of you who HAVENT heard my mom (coz shes really reliable with this kinda information :/) says that the scripps institute down the road say that therell be a 6.7 quake here before the 5th sept. Of course my rents are all like oooh noo lets go someplace else and my sis doesnt understand jack all (I wonder where her geography degree went) but Im wanting to stay here. Of course youd want to stay. Its an experience right? Ill try and take some footage if possible I just hope Im not asleep :@.

Well one box of JC's later and Im still hungry as hell. Lunch soon not to worry. Im off see all you ****aaaaaaz some other time

X PEACE X

2004-08-27T00:43:00.000Z

Yo comrades just felt like saying I just went boarding for the first time so far and the weather was friggin beautiful. The water was calm the sun was turning me a sexy shade of pink and the sky was as blue as...er...a clear blue sky. Needless to say my boarding was ****. Damn I'm new. Add to that I just broke my favorite bindings on a stupid assed fall. Why in the name of Allah can I not be good at SOMETHING. Jeesh. I suck at everything. Grrr.

I just bought the mayfair witches books by Anne Rice. Thought Id give them a go =D. Still theres loads of other Vampire Chronicles books to get. Theres also some new VC's that shes writing. Also Im reading a pretty good book called The Da Vinci Code or something. Its good. Very good. Its full of these cool historical facts and snippets and ties and the storys good too. Its all about sects in the church and secrets and shit its a mystery book. Apparently Newton, Da Vinci and Bottecelli amongst others were members of a secret sect. Also a cool fact: over three centuries the church managed to burn at the stake over 5 million women. Not bad going for guys what wear funny hats eh. Very interesting all that old church stuff. I think I'll have to explore it. Anyway I couldnt find Sariel if thats actually the name. It probably isnt is it. Im a tit arent I. No I'm not take that back :/.

Anyway I should really put some clothes on Im in full view of the public here. I usually charge for these kind of shots Im missing out on valuable revenue.

Ciao for now!

2004-08-24T02:12:00.000Z

Right blog for yesterday TAKE TWO :@. *mutters under breath*. Considering Im listening to the new 1080 mixer i got from El Jimbo I'm in a boarding mood so its a boarder blog now. Unlucky kentucky.

But first business. Ive learned that pop's shots from leavers are on cd so ill bung em online sometime for your pleasure. Shit I'm tired.

K so this starts from like mondo long time back cuz I bin busy n u kno shit bin heavy. So this is from switz way back then. So I like arrive there in the car bored outta my nads from the ride. This hol was kinda short and sweet like a speeder on a gnarly parkage run so it went easy n we went to see some big mutts up on some mountain or somethin. gnarly grads. No snow tho so you know. Anyway so at the end of the hol im all like woah dad dude theres like this rad wakeboarding set up right next to the pad so hes all like lets go and im like woah awesome man. So there I go boardin doin some freestyle and I cudnt stop myself so I kinda annihilated myself for the ride back home and fer like the whole next week which was mondo sucky. But it was worth it. The dudes takin the boat were cool too. French speakin but cool. *****ITS A NEW RECORD!!!*****

Anyway yah camp. Camp was totally rad. 'Cept I was havin to be like 'Hey little dudes mellow out' like all the time so whatever. One of the cooler things was havin this like massive lake-weed fight on the shore it was awesome. I was plasterin the kids n all was sweet til this lil' chick called sophie wasted me with a shot full of sandy weed in the mouth. It was gnarly. So gnarly.
*TEA BREAK* Please hold the line. *Classical symphony begins*...........
Ok you know what that tea break led on to today, which is montag the 24th :/. Yeah I was writing this the last night before I came away and by 12 I still had to pack and Jimmy was trying to force me play war3 (against my will) with him like every 5 mins so as you can imagine I didn't get it finished. For shame. So now I'm on the couch in the states after a spot of uneventful fishin and once again I'm fookin shattered. Woah ok so right where was I...ah yeah ok so...

I'm still like at camp aaaand some other activities like gettin gnarly friction burns, being taught the macarena and having to dress up like a topheavy chick from Grease (notice the 'ea' signifying the film not the place ;)). It made me think of the physical impracticalities of having boobs so now I'm far more sympathetic with all you ladies. Ha. Oh yeah and being made to go on all the kiddy rides at some theme park so I crushed my knees a few times. Buuuut its all good. A few other things happened at camp too but you'd have to ask or something. Or just forget it. Its not that substantial :P.

Well yeah what happend after that. Aha. PCA trip. Thank the actual lord. It was sweet had a cool game of war3 and zero hour and some /emote lowers voice CS source. But keep that zipped tighter than a large package in small trousers ;). Anyway yeah the McDonalds incidents. Well you know when u walk into a MaccyDs nowadays you cant help but sing to yourself that 'Ba ba ba ba baaaa I'm lovin' it' tune right? RIGHT? Well I cant. So...we're mosying on into the big M and I'm like yo theo I dare ya to go up to the till girl and ask her if shes lovin' it. So he's like yar commandant. So he says it and I swear she must have been asked that so many times it was that kind of uninterested FOAD : type face and she just goes 'Yeah.' Anyway so...as usual we have to wait for the fatboy to get his mondo meal and coz it was taking ages when he finally came over to where the rest of us were standing I was like, in a joking but evilly mean voice 'Are you DONE yet?!?!'. Little did I know that behind Space™ was standing the till girl. Anyway she must have thought I was speaking to her her expression changed into a kindof upset shocked expression and she stomped off. So I was like O_O. Er. Oops. Needless to say we left hastily and I fear for going back incase I get a jizzshake or phlemburger or one of their salads or something nasty like that.

Well then after that what happend. Ah a night at Paddys was cool some buttonbashing action there then we went off in the car and tried to find a good spot to get struck by lightening but that just wasnt happening so we settled for a whizz under the bridge (thats separately incase you were getting CRAZY ideas) and some puddle splashing fun. Some other day that week I managed to pass my driving theory but with practicals backed up for 15 weeks or december time I don't think I'll be driving for quite some time. Sigh.

The week was just completed by results day where I got enough to get into QMUL so I'm far more than just a happy chappy. I sent the accomodation and confirmation forms n stuff off and I was so releived it was so cool. Well after that I went off back to Jimmys and had some fun with some pink things and stripping infront of the webcam. If only I had broadband the things I could get up to :(. Anyway so we're burning it down to the pub where we're meeting folks up and Jimbos car decides I'm too much of a fatty and so something crashes n crumples under the car and we stop. Turns out its only the fanbelt but we push it to the pub anyway. Like from the beginning of the turn in road to the Three Horseshoes down the road. God that was cool. Anyways so then lunch was awesome Jimbos car gets sorted and we're off to the cinema with Haz (Lets go around the roundabout 3 times) Payne :D to watch 'I, Callidus'. Or 'I, Robot'. I forget which. It was cool enough though. Anyway so I'm in line ordering popcorn and flirting like crazy with the till girl when I touch it and spill it all over the counter and till and floor. It was everywhere. Sugary and salty too. Anyway she assured me it was fine but I gave her a few handfuls to help her clean up. What a gentleman eh. I seem to have a thing for till girls I guess. Anyway at night we went back to Kazasses to with a phat KFC where we watched cable guy and lots of dirty and strange pron. It was AWESOME.

Anyway that about wraps it up apart from going to my uncs for his 50th. Which was very cool. Anyway I'll keep an eye out on things over here for some blogolicious stories. Thats it y'all. Much love and many spanks :D

Take care n peace out y'all

2004-08-20T00:05:00.000Z

omafg...dieplzkthx. I jst wrote a huge entry here but it just phucked up. AUJDFOAJSKDO:ASKD: OLASKJDO:AQJMDFCO:AJDO:AKD:OAKD:OAKS:DLKMA:LCJOPAQJFAOPIFOPAKJFAO:JDA:OLSKJDA:LSKJD:ALKSJD:OAJDSA:LKD:ALJVSOJADO: DIDEIDIDIEIEIDIEIDIEIDIEIDIDIEIDIEIDIEDIDDIEDIEDIEIDIEIDIEIDIEDIEIDEDEDI!!!!11!!"1211"!"!!"!!!"q!!"!"!"!"

ILL DO IT AGAIN TOMORROW. :@

2004-08-06T13:02:00.000Z

Best day of golf yesterday ever. Why yesterday? Well I WAS gonna write stuff yesterday but I found myself glued to desperados aaaand my mom was hogging the connection for about 2 hours. I mean honestly 2 hours on the computer is way too much. Anyway why was it the best day of golf ever? Well besides playing well and making some awesome shots I thwacked a guy in the back of the calf with a three wood :D. Absolute classic in the making. Oh and I have to say that I hit a 5 iron from behind a hill and it landed within a foot of the pin. Class.

Anyway the main point of this was that Im hungry. Very hungry. But I cba to make food. Whats a guy to do? Sigh. I found out that I was lied to and infact Im travelling to camp on saturday not sunday so theres no chance of watching that filum. Wait thats tomorrow. Er. Best get packing later then. I think its an early start. Driving with my sis O_O. Sigh. Hell. Aaargh. Still scared. Anyway erm...thats all folks

2004-08-04T22:34:00.000Z

Best day of driving yet. Apart from one small incidence where I got the front wheel stuck in a ditch. But we shall never mention that again :D. Finally got my theory booked for 16th/17th/18th and I still havent looked at the books. Phew. And you all thought Id never get around to doing that. Ha. Did emergency stops today. Most fun ever. So ur scooting along at say 40 - 50 or something and WHAM all the instructor guys folders smash in a heap all over the floor. Ah. Good times. All he said was that 'Thats what they should do.' so its all good. Also country driving like I havent done that enough and some more manouvering. All good fun.

In other pseudo-news, I havent yet nor, I think, will ever get to PCA again. Im so annoyed. The only sensible thing to do seems to be laying face down in a bean bag cradling a pair of hackysacks. Everything sucks.

Camp time on sunday. Im scared. Eep. Sigh.

I'm off to play with myself. Laterinos budgies

2004-07-17T03:10:00.000Z

Hey there good lookin'. Whats a hot little minx like you doing at a dirthole blog like this? Ahem. Well as you can see I'm bored and I'm chatting up my browser. Just finished a good old fashioned soldat-a-thon but alas the puny mortals aka friends have to go to sleep -_- So what now I wonder... Hey Podgemeister I wanna know how far you got in Interview wt vamp I've started at the beginning again :/. But its all gravy. I guess I should finally get around to doing that AC tomorrow... Perhaps I should find some random ones and try doing ACs on them too :P. First I have to play some good games though :/. Hmmsies.

Started my driving lessons a while back. Not a bad instructor guy. But I confess I sweat like an utter dog in that car driving along for two hours. Hot as hell. I get out and like my backs stuck to the cloth seat. So gross I know. Cars too damn small too. Cramp my knees and ankles being in there godamnit. On the topic some very young hot-sounding girl from the BSM driving instructor place rang me up today. In there. Oh shit yeah and FINALLY I've managed to be arsed to do some working out. I just lay on my floor doing shit for an hour while my 10MB download finished AGAIN. Don't laugh. Thank fuck for that. I feel like running right at the moment. But uh...not the best time I guess. I still have all this exam crap all over my floor. I know I said I'd clean it up like the first day after we broke up...then the next day etcetera but its still not done. I literally have to jump the pile to get on my bed. Im such a slob. Someone needs to quite literally whip me into shape. Like that'd ever happen.

I'm so sick to shit with having this crapola connection. Now Jimbo has bb too. I feel like the only one ever to still have a 56k. Its so harsh. I'd be very very grateful if everyone prayed for me to get a good room at the student village at uni AND for me to actually get in. Please God, Satan, Buddah - whoever, just get me in there k? Then I'll have a kickass connection AND my pops should get me a new PC. Oooooh fuck yeah. Only thing is...will I still be as much of a gamer? Am I even a gamer now? Can one such as me, with such a crap connection be classed as such? Am I just a hopeless wannabe? I'll never be good, never be GOSU. The connection and computer limits my gaming so much. Sigh. Hell whatever. Theres plenty of other things that I'm not total shit at right? RIGHT? : This got me thinking as to what I AM good at...

[WARNING! WARNING! ANGST PARAGRAPH ALERT!]

It didn't take long. So in conclusion, and this is far from being a plea or whine or moan, I have discovered that I am useless at everything, including academics, sports and games; a slob, not good with women, not good with guys, unreliable, highly volatile mood wise and a general pain in the ass. I'm a bit of a crap son, brother, friend and I'm sure to be a crap partner and or parent. I have a shithead personality and I'm majorly indecisive. There. No comments please. I'm not even in a bad mood. Oh podgy can leave comments regarding that vamp novel :D.

Well hell what a great day I have lined up tomorrow. I have shit to take care of at the bank, hair cut, getting a watch sorted out and I guess I'll have to look at that driving theory bullshit. That BSM lass is sorting out my theory XD. What a nice girl. The waits for driving tests are so long now. I won't be driving until next year at this rate. Why in the name of Lucifer didn't I do it sooner. Now that I'm 18 does that mean I can get to a stripclub with a bottle of whiskey in a brown paper bag and throw money away in suspenders and stuff? Thats what I should really do. I should actually get to a gym I wanna work out alot. Gotta try and find some free weights to get. That'd be sweet. Can't wait to get to the US. New gym and spa place there mmmmm. And boarding. And fishing. And corona. And chicks. And sun. And smells. And sights. Aww hell can't fucking wait. I really really badly can't. *Moans*. Actually looking forward to burns camp too. Can't remember when or even where it is. Its gonna be so gay when I first get there I've forgotten most peoples names :. Oops. I can remember every detail of their faces but I can't remember their names at ALL. Crap memory. *snarls*. Shit. Right now I can actually only recall three names. Now four. Sticking at four. Hell. Well I guess I'd better be off. I really don't want to. I'm quite enjoying this. It's almost like talking to yourself. Hell it IS talking to yourself lets not kid ourselves. Hmm ourselves. Does that mean theres more than one of me? That would certainly explain the indecisiveness and mood swings. Hmm. Maybe I have split personality :D. Or something.

Anyway I'm quite looking forward to doing that AC tomorrow if I get time. I really hope I can be arsed. Alrightey then. Um. Ok. Later then. Toodles. Bye-de-bye. L8erinos. Au revoir. Ciao. Hasta le vista. Fuck this GG plz leave

2004-07-12T23:51:00.000Z

Hey all y'all hoes n pimpstaaas!!11!!. I'm back SO I had this radical thought yeah, its like to write something about my day. I really want to write WillT/WillP esque things - the memory list and person writing thing which iv been meaning to do but due to gaming have not had the time to carry out. My actual bad. I swear ill do them sometime. I have to. Seriously now. But not yet. I cba right now.

Anyway heres what went down:
Was having an awesome very visual dream of 'stuff' and then skiing. Or skiing and then 'stuff'. Anyway both were very very vague and excellent. Best I've had in a long time.
Woke up at like 10 something after repeated summons to get out of bed.
Staggered through to the shower and soaped up my filthy naked body. Got jolly all over the bathroom. Ok not really. Just going for the gross out angle. Found out I had no boxers. Still getting summons to come downstairs so the family can get on with pressing things. Had no choice but to go commando. I like commando its cool. But not chilly.
Opened pressies. Some cool shit right there. A palm pc thing some cool jeans dvds and a new watch n some other stuff. Sex. No women though. Dissapointment. Money though. Money can buy MANY women.
TRIED to get out of the house but difficulties.
Stopped off for a wimpy -_- dirt.
Got out of the house. Went to Chessington. Arrived at 2pm when the godamned gayer park shuts at 5. Slackers. Godamn expensive too. My flirting didnt get us anywhere with the ticket girl. Bitterly dissapointed. Lots of slappers and hoop earings. And kids. Coincidence? Anyway a few lookers from the crowds. Went on rides with sis. Went on one with rents. Funny. Saw some psycho ass tigers and lion cubs. I was all like grarrr n stuff. They hid in the bushes. sigh.
Came out. Drove around. Picked up sisses shag buddy went to TGI fridays or whatever its called. Very cool. Flirted with the waitress(es). THEY SELL CORONA THANK THE ALMIGHTY! So good. So very very good. Best beer hands down. Talked about rugby. Or listened to talk about rugby -_-. Looked up girls on table nearby.
Got back to sisses place. Sat and watched some hitler stuff on tv. Very cool.
Long car ride. Listened to Magic fm or something stupid. Outrageously poor 80's songs nevertheless listened to because it was quite cool hearing songs that I remembered growing up around. Fantasised alot. About all of you guys XD. And ice cubes and candle wax. And uni. Two of these were linked. Up to you guys to think which ones.
Tried to long range flirt with the pump station girl at tescos. Bit too far off to work. Must have been. SAW A FARKING BADGER ON THE WAY HOME!!! Proper badger badger badger material it made my day. So cool.
Got back home. Watched 101 things removed from the human body. A guy got shot and half his brain was literally missing and he was looking around and talking n shit. So cool. Another guy was one of those fetus in fetu fellas and had been carrying a large sprog inside his belly for 36 years. Idiot. Another guy got a pitchforce up through his face after falling on it whilst frog hunting. Dont miss next mondays 101 things to do when you die. Looks cool.
Im not quite sure what I'm gonna do now. I want an online party but noones around :'(. I need to fix that ****ing trojan problem and make about a gig of free space to install Ground Control Operation Exodus :/. Fun thatll be. The games online XD hee hee. Cant wait to get it on there. Wanna do something with all you guys sometime. Like shag. Naked paintballing maybe? Hell I dont know STOP SHOUTING AT ME *rocks on chair*. I'm feeling hyper and stuff. Arg what to do. I could play on my lonesome :(. I feel like writing a war stories article but I cba at the moment. And I STILL havent done that AC for that WC3 game. AND I need to sort out this ballbusting connection with those ****sniffing squirting BT ****ers. Shit. How long do you not write for before your blog gets demolished? Thats so camp. Snarlski. Wish I had a girl right here now. Well somewhere else. Not here. My rooms totally unjiggilicious. My room at unis gonna have scented candles and mood lighting and lava lamps and mood music and velvet covers n shit. Excellent. Must take mind off girls...must game...

Well I can't think of anything else to say right now. I'm feeling contentedly happy, warm and horny. I love holidays sooooooooo much ({) @ holiday.
Hell I love everyone so much cmere ({) @ [Your name here]

Bye bye babesises xxx
Mr.Jim [Imba]Frame
[aka] Jimmerman, Mr.Jimnus, [TW] Aqueous, [SK] Jim, 4k.1316 1301, Hunbuns

2004-07-08T18:04:00.000Z

This country vexes me greatly. Everyones a fucking retard. I swear every time I go out someplace EVERYONES a fucking retard. This countrys shit. I hate this place. Everyones so fucking stupid or negligent and stuff its like woah no wonder everything in this country SUCKS. Everything sucks here. The roads, the shops, the prices, the people, the weather, the supermarkets and shops n stuff....I could go on. The only thing I like about this country is the COUNTRY[side, that is]. And most of that is shitted up by gay settlement/countryside hybrid areas like my place. Its nice to think that once all around here was a nice load of nothing, before it was twisted into a load of shitty housing and roads. Christ. Im emmigrating at the first chance I get. I should have just gone ahead and applied to some US or NZ uni. Even when there ever IS anything good in this country, it always manages to get fucked up by some other shitty factor. What is it that makes this country so shit, the people so fucking stupid etc. etc.??? Surely it must have been better once. Ok lets see. Hmm. Get too far back and its bad because everyone dies of plague. Midway and it gets too aristocratic. Even more recent and too much new age jazz music. Still, when you look back times didnt seem so bad. However much we've advanced here it just gets shitter and shitter. Less people die, fewer people see the value of life. More crowding. More pig headed dumb lazy negligent fucking bastards. Crap society with crap roads, government, schools, hospitals, shops etc. Shit I hate society. I hate people. I hate being human. All human life on Earth should be annihilated seriously. Theres some good people but where theres good people theres always gonna be fucking retards and the bad outweighs the good. Therefore we should all be exterminated like fucking rodents. It makes me sick.

Anyway just thinking about a conclusion to wrap this shit up, its evident to me that whatever our ancestors ever fought for was never worth it if we are the result of that. I hope this all made sense. I'm pretty pissed off.

2004-06-08T10:41:00.000Z

In response to Will seeing as I couldnt fit it on single comment:

Well firstly what can I say...you seem to have missed the point in the artwork style in WoW...and I beleive one of the things they were after was also playability even on slightly lower end machines. Added to that I've read a 56k Beta journal that said it ran fine. So looking good then. As regards to Dragon Age...good luck getting that battle to run on any PC...the engine looks better than the Generals one so unless thats a cutscene have fun playing that on anything other than a very high end machine. I sense graphics setting on lowest. Shame. And dont tell me theres going to be ANYTHING like that on the multiplayer because thats bullshit. I suppose the release date will still probably be about 3 years or something of the sort anyway so I guess it wont matter. And 'Huge' singleplayer? From the forums I see that everyones complaining about the game only having about 50 hours of game time...and those that are arguing against it seem to agree, although they seem to like the fact that its only like 2 weeks of game time max assuming you do a small number of other activites - eat, drink, excrete etc :S. Certainly sounds huge to me. The reason I had to rely on forums and heresay was because obviously the offical site had no interesting information on the game apart from the obvious 'this games going to have it all' bullshit as per usual and I can't be arsed to search for wider info at this point in time. Maybe in the future.

Just to make sure that graphics arent everything, I also took a look at some shots of EQ2 - supposedly far greater graphics than WoW...however as you can probably see no amount of extra polygons can make up for shitty artwork

Not only does this look lifeless and dull, but I'm willing to bet that it'll suck the life out of your system.

Now a (good) DA pic:

Prettier graphics, a little more interesting granted. But do you really think the majority of people are going to be able to play that with those graphics with any more than 5 people on? Also, as you can well see, all MMORPGs are going down the same route, each trying to be more realistic than the other. Warhammer MMORPG looks about as good as that picture... I prefer the WoW style, although it looks less polished and precise it has an ORIGINAL, FUN, IMMERSING atmosphere and doesn't fail in what it tries to achieve.

Huge FREE multiplayer. Ha. The only reason WoW is priced is because they have a team to keep the game going with maintenance and new areas and features...all that Dragon Age is doing is putting modding equipment into everyones hands so they dont need to hire a team to waste their profits after game launch. Great community that'll be. The fact is, once everyone gets bored and mods (or attempt to), there will be no wider game community. Have fun with those DA:Crapola mods...but then again I'm sure the 'huge', persistant worlds will be more than adequate heh.

Just to add something because I was interested in what NWN modders did I found this interesting one:
"When you use 'Wild shape' with a druid, you can choose to change into a certain creature. The author changed it so you will change into *MUCH* cooler creatures then the normal ones: Badger=Wererat, Wolf=Werewolf, Panther=Werecat, Bear=Yuan-Ti, Boar=Penguin." These are the things you do when you get very bored of the game. Youd also think that the morons could come up with something a little more original than 'wererat, werewolf + werecat'. I'm surprised that it wasnt a werepenguin. ****ing idiots. And what kind of spell name is 'Wild Shape'? Jeez that sounds lame. I'd say a dodecahedrons a pretty wild shape. More idiots.

Oh and since when was a crow flying off and a guy looking up to see it when you shoot an arrow at it a random event? Its basically the same thing as having you shoot an NPC and other NPCS join him to attack you. Really random. Causality my son, causality. Was it an NPC hero? Most probably. Either way it was a cunning bit of 'If crow flies, turn head' and 'If arrow shot at crow, crow flies'. I wonder if you could have the same effect by shouting...but I doubt it.

Enough this is wasting my time...the bioware page is too loaded up with crap that takes my meager connection too long to sift through. Anyway Biowares a good company...I'm sure itll be a great game...assuming you can run it...

2004-06-04T20:37:00.000Z

Well at least today I'm in somewhat of a better if not weirder mood. Must be because I've done less work eh...anyway I felt the need to spread some quotage goodness around a bit so without further blabbering here they are in all their greatness::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

(Matt, fried from MSN and no he's not that Matt OR that Matt.) - Happiness is like wetting yourself; everyone can see it but only you can feel the warmth

(Pine) - Is that a frog and a grape in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?

(Pine) - "Biology is the only science in which multiplication means the same
thing as division." (cue laughter here)

And incase youre fretting about never seeing anything so funny ever again, I'd just like to reassure you I have saved a very long, excellent selection of such quotes on my darling laptop so fear not my beautiful children.

Toodles!

And remember:
Never forget to swallow!*

*Mostly, but not exclusively, applicable to showers

2004-06-03T17:49:00.000Z

It looks so beautiful outside. I'd love to just take a long walk outside in the rain and just have everything about me dissapear. Go off into the woods with the soft pattering rain falling all around and just sit there. Somehow ceasing to exist, everything about me vanishing in an instant. It would be so nice. Its so cool and with a soft rainfall and a few birds flitting around itd be just so nice to go sit in those woods. Its something Iv always wanted to do but never got around to doing. I could always go now but for one thing I know that when I got back everything would just be the same. Exactly the same. Nothing would have changed at all. Id be happy as hell once I was out there but then Id get back and fall into exactly the same pit im already in. Just like breaks. They dont work. I have a nice break sure. Then I get back and feel exactly the same as i did when i decided to take a break. Pointless. Its so tranquil out there.

Killed a mixi rabbit the other day. Only one I've ever felt a bit sorry for to tell the truth. Partly because I didnt kill it outright...I just sat there, one or two metres away crouching and just watching this little rabbit munching away on some coarse grass. Huge bulbous puss filled eyes extended beyond its head making a freakish mockery of its natural looks. It obviously had no remaining sense of smell or sight or hearing. But it sat there, munching away, oblivious to the inevitability of its demise. Just sitting there, not bothered by the fact that it would probably die in a day or two, strewn across the morning grass having died from a few days of exposure, or being clamped on and eaten half alive by some fox. Nothing scared this rabbit. It just sat there, muching away. Not even the fact that I was sitting with a loaded air rifle two metres away bothered it. It just sat there, happily eating, not sensing the pointlessness of eating any more grass. Why didn't it just give it up? Despite the appearance of this rabbit it was quite beautiful sitting there just watching it hop around quietly contentedly munching this grass. What it couldnt see or hear or smell didnt exist for the rabbit. It just sat there, driven by its instincts to keep eating, even though it was bound to die in a few days.

Anyway it eventually started to move and my getting up must have spooked it somehow so it started to jog off pretty nippy. So I turn and fire...*thump* goes the pellet straight into the back of the rabbit. Such a meaningful sound. You know youve hit a living thing when you hear that sound its a really characteristic thwump. Anyway I had just disabled its hind legs and it pushed itself back upright having been knocked onto its side. It started to crawl off, using only its forelegs. It didnt know which direction it was going. It had no clue where or why it was running. Despite the fact that it had this crippling disease it still had the urge to run or at least crawl. Still it tried. Then it suddenly stopped. It just sat there, propped up on its forelegs, with its hind legs laying there crumpled and useless. There it sat, with an almost dignified look about it despite its condition. I think then it knew it was going to die. Right then it realised that no matter how much it struggled or tried to survive, it knew it was going to die right at that point in time. It made no noise, just sat there awaiting death. Its instincts were at a loss as to what to do. Its own will came into power and finally overcame that need to survive no matter what. Silently sitting there, propped up on its hind legs, not shaking or bucking around or screetching like other rabbits. Just sitting there calmly and looking up. I could see the previous puncture in its back. I just stood there for a moment admiring this rabbit before loading up the rifle. I put the barrel to the back of this rabbits head and as I touched the rabbit it still did nothing. Just sat there, calmly, ready for death. Imagine what thats like. Being blind and deaf, and feeling the cold barrel being pressed against your head, knowing that you'll die in the next few moments. What would you do? How would you act? I just sat there looking at this rabbit him knowing that he'll die and me knowing that he knows it. Thump. The rabbits forelegs gently give away and the head slumps to the ground. I loaded another one for him. I always put two in the head I dont know why. One would do.

But you have to wonder...did this rabbit know all along that it was going to die, yet kept eating away? Or was it truly oblivious to its condition and was just going on about its business? Did the rabbit just give up because it couldnt see or hear anything or did it know that it was going to die right there and then and took it silently and dignified?

Lifes a beautiful thing really isnt it...or maybe deaths the most beautiful part of life...the only truly meaningful and true thing one can expect in life is ironically death it seems.

2004-06-03T17:30:00.000Z

F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K

2004-05-26T17:31:00.000Z

Feel like the need to moan and rant and s**t but nothings coming to mind. I'm a crap writer thats for sure. Eating sweeties called 'Flyers' any liquorice fan should give them a try. Gorgeous things. My mind feels f***ed around for some reason. You know the feeling when you're mildly depressed tired indifferent crap etc...that feeling. For some reason I've been thinking about girls alot recently :S. These days Im always thinking of either girls or work or to stop thinking about gaming...Not sure whats worse thinking of how bad I am with girls or how bad I am with work really...Girls isnt a topic worth thinking about nor is work...worrying about work just makes it worse. Same with girls. Its so annoying and futile. It really is. I dont recommend trying it. Will and Haz make it sound easy and that I should just be more confident and not be afraid to just go and chat shit to girls but that wouldnt really work for me. Unis gonna suck who am I kidding. Ill have no time to game and no girls and harder work. I think it is kinda a confidence thing to start with. I mean if Im comfortable with someone then I usually act like myself...whether thats a good thing or bad thing you can decide. Its just with random people I physically can't help but not be my usual self. Its really weird. I hate it. Theres only been like once or twice where I have actually been myself when meeting someone like that. Thing is even though Im not myself sometimes the person who I am SUCKS. I mean really sucks. Think me but without...er...uh...ok forget that. I just suck. Nuff said. I hate people and I hate me. Simple as that. I hate everything. Those singing birds are pissing me off theres a ****ing bunny on my lawn and the trees swaying annoyingly. Christ. My moms voice pisses me off the s**t im supposed to act like coz my sis and her ****ing amazing bf is here pisses me off my room pisses me off the internet pisses me off this ****ing packet of flyers pisses me off AND MY ARSE IS ACHING FROM SITTING ON THIS GODAMN ****ING SEAT. This body pisses me off this brain pisses me off the fact that Im pissed off pisses me off. ****s sake. Im not even gonna start playing Gunbound tonight because that ****ing anime and that ****ing ****head music is gonna piss me off badly. Not to mention the ****ing people. ****.

...
...
...

Dammit I have one flyer left :/ I hate running to the bottom of the pack of something you really love. Like when your just getting into the crisp sensation and then its cruelly ended. Or when the moreish desire to engulf Flipz (anyone remember them?) is cut short by the untimely demise of your pack. *sigh*. That reminds me I'm like nearly 11 stone for some reason :S. Maybe Im just getting fat. Maybe I really needed a whizz when I weighed myself...who knows. Maybe I should clean my room out sometime. My god im so hungry. Summers gonna suck. Unis gonna suck. Everything from here on out is gonna suck save for a few precious moments that wont mean jack **** in the grand scheme of things. I've already wasted the majority of the best years of my life. Great isnt it. God I hate moaning. I suck at moaning. Even Podgy moaning isn't bad but mines just pathetic. I'm not in the mood for anything at the moment. Not even proper gaming. Its not a good sign. I wanna lay here and die...or maybe just fall asleep for ages.
O_o
**** you too Im off

2004-05-22T20:47:00.000Z

Just a quickie today since Im at a loss of what to do. A few minutes till a mate finally finishes bloody Battlefield:Vietnam installation and gets on Generals with me :/. Waitings the worst thing.

Just watched 40 days 40 nights. What a pro film. Many many chicks, boobs and shared experiences :P. Anyone else think Im a little like the main guy? Maybe not so hot with the chicks but you get the idea right?

In other news, two bunnies were killed today as Jim launched a massive guerilla strike. The War on Rodents continues. Naped a bunny through the side of the head but it still managed to flip all around the godammed place. Dumb ****. Frag count wudda been 3 but when I was sneaking up to a large group of about 4 bunnies I got attacked by this bee that wouldn't sod off. I even tried crushing the bastard with the butt of the rifle but to no avail. Bah. Rabbits die so easily. I think that the reason humans don't die so easily is because of will power, the mental will to keep living. Bunnies have no such complex feeling and just give up, thats my theory. Still one unclean hit resulted in a little chase-and-pitchfork...Come to think of it that theorys trash...Muwuahaha.

Put the rabbits into cage traps and covered with grass mounds. Hopefully should get the fox thats having our ducks. That'll teach the little b*****d.

Anyway buddys done checking that it doenst work. Time to kick some ass at Gens :D.

Oooh I also gotta remember to mention a particular site...Koel I think you will find it most outrageous/interesting.

P.S. Remember: computer games do NOT encourage violence

2004-05-18T17:44:00.000Z

Unfortunately no amusing blog entry titles today apart from the aforementioned :(. Know what pissed me off again today? That the school is an in-breeding ground for generations of jerkwods and ****ers. Yeah thats right. I know what youre all thinking 'but Jim, aren't you being hypocritical?!?1111!' and the answer is yes maybe. But thats not the point. Today a classic conversation, a bridging of gaps as it were, between myself and Haz playing tennis and some ****s on the court next to us. The conversation went something like this:

Idiot: 'Oi gissa ball'
Jim: 'We only have three that we started with'
Idiot: 'You nicked one'
Jim: 'No...we came out with three'
Idiot: 'We've only got two you nicked one'
Jim: 'And you started with three??'
Idiot: 'No we've only got two now'
Jim: 'Well we started with three and we have three now you started with three and now have two; you've lost one *claps hand on racket*'
Idiot: *Grunts and returns to playing, later to take one of our balls and somehow lose the other so that they again have two*
Idiot: 'Wheres the other balls?'
Idiot 2: 'Er...they nicked one'
Jim: *rolls eyes*

See what I mean? Oh and one of the obnoxious prats walked across the net of our game TWICE... What kind of arrogant disrespectful losers act like that? It really confuses me to realise that the said idiot has a girlfriend. Strange but true. It strikes me that most idiots get girlfriends...good on them since I should think most of the girls are just as bad but female. Make that doubly bad :P.

P.S. that idiot remark was not intended to imply that WillT, WillP or Jimmy were infact idiots. The chauvenistic female-bashing remark remains as implied. ;) Also note that the references to 'Idiot' and 'Idiot 2' are not intended to hide their identities, it is infact because I don't know, and do not wish to know their names. Actually I might know one of them...hmm...never mind :D

Ah yes another today went something as follows:
Girl: 'Harry whats that guys name?'
Haz: 'Jim'
Girl: 'Jim hi can I borrow your vibrator?'
Jim: *O_O*
Girl: 'I need it for my match *points to apparatus on tennis racket*'
Jim: 'Ah. No I'm using it sorry'
Girl: *dissapointed look* 'But this racket needs it; look your strings are thicker than mine'
Jim: *mentally rolls eyes* 'Im sorry Im gonna go play with it...plus we never see each other any other time so I wouldn't get it back...'
Girl: 'Oh come on I'll do anything. Ill bring it back to your room'
Jim: 'No sorry' *getting annoyed*
Girl: 'Come ON I'll do anything'
Jim: *sigh, turns to walk off* 'Sorry, no'
Girl: 'OMG your SO out of order!!! Im never speaking to you again!!1111!1!1!' *walks off*
Jim: *walks off, shrugs, small laugh*

See. People make me sick. Ah well. Hopefully there'll be nicer ppl elsewhere huh. Hate the way ppl try to buddy up to you when they want something too. So phoney. Makes me sick.

Another thing that raised my blood pressure a notch; a nice friendly email from a certain teacher wanting an explanation of why I wasnt present for tennis and that a SED is likely. Pft. ****er. Who the hell does he think he is what the hell does he think hes acheiving? Certainly not for my BENEFIT...for his own satisfaction that I would comply and never again question his supreme might perhaps? Ha. ****ard. It will be good to have gotten into Uni and watch him just fade from all significance...like a used sanitary towel he might still disgust me but he has no use or importance. Impertinent s.o.b he shud foad. This guy makes me sick. Can't think why I didn't like him before perhaps because he seems like a prize ****...pft. But whether to write back a satisfyingly sarcastic mail or just comply and act like a kiss ass to leave the hassle...that is the question. Hopefully he'll just say oh ok if you were revising thats ok...I somehow doubt it but hey gas. *****.

And to top it off I just got a real bad stomach ache and missed a shot at a godammed bunny :@. How I despise everything.

And to top that off I'm feeling like **** coz of work or lack of it etc. you know the rest. >sigh<. Only amusing thing that happend today was reading elf only inn web comic and whilst doing so hear 'Henry' (Im sure some of you will know who Im talking about) say to Koels sister 'George Bush is such a ******* ****' or words to that effect . Ah dear. Politics in the minds of children. Someone better tell them its bullsh1t before I do...I'm sick of that anti Bush anti american horsesh1t...whats the point? If everyone who was interested just read the material and didnt say anything about it they wouldn't be practically brainwashing everyone else who didn't give two ****s. Sure I used to be anti-allthatcrap but now I'm indifferent mostly because with all the hype and psycho righteous *****s (excluding Koel of course ;P)I'm sick of hearing 'Oh Bush this bush that hes so evil' god that pisses me off. Let there be War for no reason. Let there be poverty without cause. Let there be suffering due to globalisation and the capitalist pigs. After all, it's all gravy baby. God made us fat capitalists we have our own problems to worry about; heart disease, high cholesterol, high blood pressure, diabetes, cancer. Its unfortunate that nowadays war doesn't bring nations together anymore. Indeed it seems to fragment them further. Damned protesters :/

Anyway, peace and love y'all

[Generals; how art imitates life]

2004-05-12T23:44:00.000Z

BACK BY POPULAR DEMAND!!! Ooooor not. More funny blog titles including such classics as 'Hand news' and 'Open Access Rob's Mom'. Ok so the imagination kicked in on that second one. So sue me. I just realised how much customisation everyone has gone to the trouble of for their blogs. How cute. And no, I'm not changing this. I can't be bothered for one, and secondly I spend so little time here I don't mind what its like. Bit like Robs mom. .

Feeling like **** tbqh. I refuse to beleive that its because of lack of proper gaming. No gaming till after exams. What bullwoopsie. I could always do a WillT-esque summary of each day but without gaming there isn't much going on in my petty existence. Exams, work. Great. This place is boring. I feel thoroughly unmotivated unstimulated and horny. Whenever I even think about Uni I wanna be sick. Too much crap to get through. Too many people. Too much work. What if its the same? What if theyre no chicks? All these questions and more. . Fortunately I have exams to keep my mind on. You know, those things I havent worked for. I really hate myself sometimes. Why can't I just be good at ONE THING...I really don't know. Most people seem to have some type of defining quality or skill but I feel as if my user forgot to select for me a tradeskill. Er...you should probably ignore that last bit. The point being I have NOTHING. Boo hoo huh. Great. Pathetic I know but still its enough to piss me off alot. A bit like the French...although they seem insignificant they can still piss you off and have an effect in the real world...i.e. lower MY GODAMMED LEVEL BACK DOWN TO 9 FROM 12 :@. You should ignore that too.

Anyway: S
Selected reading - Anne Rice novels - Interview with the Vampire, the Lestat novels. Great stuff. Very erotic
Selected watching - Hackers. I was dismayed when Mr.Platinum didn't even recognise that it was a film. The uncultured youth of today. If I get a kid ever Im gonna make SURE he/she/they is/are going to get the best education of culture such as hackers, hitchhikers guide, warcraft lore, original command and conquer, monkey island 1 etc. I'll also teach them to laugh at world situations so that they can laugh about what minnie podgy is horrified about in the world. BHD is a good one for that. Skinny huntin n all. They'll turn out great. Ooooh, by the way I forgot to mention that the film contains a very sexy Miss Angelina Jolie in it. Another great reason to watch.

It's strange when you think about having kids really isnt it. Very very strange. I imagine them starting off pathetically ignorant and stupid and I'm not really sure how in Buddahs name youre supposed to turn their little undeveloped wrinkled heads into intelligent grey matter oozing 1337Z0rZ? I mean how does one try to culture kids? What do you show them? At what age? How ever are they going to get all those obscure jokes minnie Joules will yap about? What scares me most about it is being FORCED to kinda show ur kids all those crappy new kids tv programs. Theyre friggin AWFUL. Im so not showing them that crap. But what else is there? How do you know what stuffs gonna phuck em up? Having kids is gonna be a pain in the ass. Maybe Ill just literally 'have' kids and then have nothing more to do with them. That's probably best. Keeping me out of a developing childs mind is probably the most surefire way of keeping it un-phucked up :D Otherwise theyll end up a pessimistic, morbid, shallow, picky, geekwod gamer right???

2004-03-28T18:29:00.000Z

Is it just me or did anyone else feel vaguely amused at the suggested blog on blogger.com entitled 'Palm addict'. Maybe it's just me [dirty chuckle].

Went out for lunch today with rents sister and her new boyfriend. Seems like an alright guy I suppose...there's something not quite right with it though. Meh. Anyway as I got out of the car to get into this converted barn restaurant I could tell this is the kind of place that would piss me off. You walk through the nicely presented courtyard with an ... alternative art piece with two stone figues joined at the head one upside down and as you near the door the said entrance is made clear for you by a young attractive waitress. Fair enough. Nice thought. Then you walk into the place. As soon as I did I just got the feeling that there was something inherently wrong with the picture. I can't explain it but I just got hit by this strange feeling (and no it wasn't caused by the waitress). Exactly the same kind of people all sitting at the bar, at tables, with the same expressions and same clothes. ALL of the waitpersons were good looking and wore the same clothes. Expressionless manager-types strutted around with a kind of vacant purposeful animation. There was the regular background murmering of humanity as usual. But everything EVERYTHING about that place seemed wrong. The whole place was poshly, fashionably outfitted and pseudo-snob types all sat laughing phonily and discussing. On the back of the waitresses t-shirts were words like 'Choice' and 'Taste'. This wasn't the normal type of feeling when you can sense trying too hardness...this was totally phony and I couldn't STAND that godammed place. I felt sick the whole time I was there. It just didn't feel right. What made it worse was that my rents were saying about how nice the place was and they and my sis and bf were yapping as usual. I never enter into conversations like that with my rents or sister. I just don't like it. All they know me as is the quiet moody intelligent one...how wrong they are. The food was the usual kind of posh place food - the small portions and nasty sauces covering up the taste of the actual food. Call me simple. That's how I like it. Snobbish up-themselves phony places like that make me go crazy I really can't stand it. And the people there. All trying to impress. All dressed up. All 'happily' chatting. I wonder sometimes what they are really thinking...then I remember it's not worth it. I saw an elderly man follow the buns of a young waitress as she walked past. No prizes for guessing what he was thinking. That's what gets on my nerves. The way people always need to impress or make themselves seem so 'civilised' when you can tell they're not. Makes me sick.

Manners - that's another thing that gets on my nerves. Things that you are 'expected' to do by so called 'common decency'. I can understand not being plain rude or offensive or anything like that... it's just why should someone be bothered how I do stuff? How I hold my knife or whatever? I can do whatever I damn well want why in God's green earth should someone care what I do in that way?!. Some people seem to have taken it on themselves to write rules of common decency for these things however pathetically stupid or impractical they may seem. I can just imagine what a person that would come up with these ideas would be like. I hate him already.

I remember a few times where I have been holding my knife the 'wrong way' a few times in past 'posh' dinner places and my rents have usefully pointed out that that's bad manners. Why? And they're not even bad about these things. They don't pretend to be posh or super civilised and they aren't. They seem about as average to me as can be. In the middle of the spectrum between super posh pseudo rich ass monkey f***ers and 'common folk'. They are who they are and I guess I've grown up to be that way too. Even so, my dad said that 'You would have to hold your knife (or whatever) if you were meeting the 'Queen'. That made me so sick it made me, for a split second, have to reevaluate what my dad was. Luckily, I forgive his ways sometimes just because he grew up in different times. But not for one second am I going to take on any of those views. The monarchy is wrong and foolish. They do nothing for national pride except for the aforementioned bullshitter people. They are a waste of money. Get rid of them please. God why am I so bad at expressing myself. I can never seem to note down how pissed off I get with some things with words. It really pisses me off. Everything I write seems ineffectual in making my points. Scatterbrained in a way. Ah well. You get the idea. There's so many directions I want to expand off the topic I originally wanted to write down I end up mentioning many scattered ideas and not getting anywhere.

After lunch went to the zoo. So sad. I really don't enjoy the zoo. I love animals I just can't stand the zoo structure. It shouldn't be like that. I mean it should be important to educate our kids about animals and their habitats and stuff but I bet something like 5% of people that go to the zoo have a genuine interest in any of it, maybe less. They just go to 'see the animals'; to point and laugh at the behavious that the zoo itself is causing. About as bad as godammed circuses. Although at circuses the animals are actually stimulated and get some exercise I suppose. Not many people actually absorb anything from going to the zoo. That's what kinda ticks me off sometimes. Lack of respect for the animals and such. I know it can't be helped but I can't stand listening to ignorant parents attempting to teach their kids about stupid things about the animals. Or making stupid comments. Or laughing at their behaviour or something. It's ok until I sit back and just watch these people, one after the other, hundreds of humans shuffling past; banging on the glass, shouting and dropping litter. Also some glass viewing windows had been cracked about by some fucking delinquents no doubt. In many of the enclosures. No godammed respect for the place, other people or even the animals. You woulda thought that visiting the animals you would want to treat them with a little bit of respect. But no. Humans make me sick. No wonder we're destroying the planet. If God's real, I hope he sees what a mistake we were. Can't be too all-knowing and perfect if he made us could he. God is the creator of Evil. 'Nuff said.

The conditions at the zoo were awful too. I couldn't stand it. I really couldn't. I got really depressed at some exhibits where the animals were walking back and forth or just sitting there staring into space. Zoo's in this country are so depressing. I'm never taking my kids there. In the US theres this awesome place called the San Diego Wild Animal Park - sure there are some cages for small critters and parakeets and suchlike but there are large communities and for larger animals they have huge paddocks with many species together. I realise what the zoo's trying to do and how tough resources must be what with delinquents constantly smashing glass and litter being thrown into enclosures though... But the animal park is how it should be. It shouldn't be about the humans coming to visit cooped up animals it should be animal homes where humans are priveleged enough to see these animals as they really are. Some people have no fucking respect, decency or intelligence. I sometimes wonder what goes on in the head of one of the delinquent townie teenagers. Not much I suppose. What the hell is wrong with them? Think it's probably the same all over but I can't help reminding myself that whatever these kids are like is a direct result of society. Just looking at some of the parents today I couldn't help thinking to myself 'should some of these people be parents'? Not suggesting any neo-nazi social-engineering here but the world would probably be a better place if some people didn't have kids. Harsh I know. Stilll that's the way I feel right now.

Anyway back the the point; I think we have a major tendency to get things badly wrong in this country, maybe even this culture. Western society. So much for British pride. Politics - another issue. See? Flights of ideas.

Anyway I'm gonna wrap this entry up go have eats or something. I can't be bothered to try to justify any more linkages to other things that piss me off. Later

2004-03-27T22:11:00.000Z

Just a quickie. Instead of thinking about how boned I am and how much shizzle I gotta get through, I'm gonna write it down here so I can reassure myself that actually, it's not that bad and I'll be fine.

Read/sort out huge whopping pile of unnerving jade student something sheets. Guess I'll find out what theyre for when I read them.
Work out a revision timetable
Find my AS material. Sheets, books, folders...everything. Not only am I retaking chemistry and physics modules but theres also synoptics to think about.
Sort out the random assortment of disorganised sheets and junk from my folders. Doubt I'll actually use notes to revise from but hey...
Actually do some revision.
Find out Uni holiday dates.
Sort out Uni accomodation...I think it closes by April...that gives me... 3 days? Oh.
Drive to Will's and drop off some Physics.

Ok that didn't help at all. Hmm.

What's just cheesed me off is that my mom's birthday, I usefully remembered, is on Monday. Now I had plans to go to PCA (PC Arena - home of the KnUx-owned Space™) on Monday. This is annoying. Very annoying. Like being double KotG entangle rushed with a noob French ally annoying. That's substantially annoying.

Haha I just noticed two bottles of water side by side and they reminded me of breasts. Ah dear. I kill myself. And if I don't, someone else should.

Anyway enough of this. Back to Homeworld 2. Incase I never blog again, it's been incredible .

2004-03-27T21:14:00.000Z

Pine quote getting the repeat treatment:

Alone, adj.:
In bad company.
-- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"

NARF! It's me again. Remember? The dude who wrote some crap down a while back? Yeah so much for the regular updates huh ;). I don't really know why I have a blog. Why does anyone have a blog? Is it to catalogue all their emotions so that they can look back on it and say 'Oh yes I remember that Will Young song...GOD THAT MAKES ME SO MAD'; does it help them vent their emotional energies (hatred, anger, insatiable demonic lust etc.)? Is it for the benefit for their friends? An interesting topic. Maybe I'll write about it some time :P.

Even though I sometimes wonder about the point in me having this miniature piece of my mind online, I have, nonetheless, been thinking about topics. I don't know why. Sometimes you get a random idea and think 'Hey yeah I'd actually enjoy writing that in my blog...should I do it now or get back to playing CS/Generals/Homeworld 2/Warcraft 3/Soldat/Miniclip?'. I know exactly what you're thinking. See? You know me too well already. Needless to say then I have compiled a text file with more ideas than you could fit in Rob's mom. And that's a lot incase you don't know. I know I do ;). [sigh]... Why do I get the feeling I'll have to remove this later? Ah well :D

The thing is, now that I look back on my list i don't actually feel like writing about it at the moment...Pain in the godammed ass considering most times these things would only really make sense to you guys if I had written them at the time... Just like most things in life, I don't seem to be able to stick to my plans. I thrive (ok thats a lie) on trying to predict every possibility that could happen and make plans about the future, but as always, I always seem to be totally wrong and my plans are worthless. I let myself down and in doing so I'm pretty sure I let a whole lot of other people down too. The only times I am right are when I don't mean to be. I am sure it all seems complicated to you, the reader (I pity teh foo' dat reads ma blog) but to be honest I've gotten used to being dissapointed and failing and being pessimistic. I've finally made the transition from trying to fight against whats bothering me i.e. by moaning all the time about it and it being on my mind all the time, to letting it be and accepting that thats what I've become. I really hate what I have become sometimes. Then I blame it on everything I can find...another weakness. I've decided I am remarkably good at picking out the bad in things. I'm probably wrong about that and am actually crap at that too though. Ah well. I'm digressing into a pit resembling a gravity well arent I (geeky chuckle). Anyway the point being, there are bigger things to worry about and think about than my own worthless self. And just because I've got this all down I don't want you guys (you know who you are...you know, the three odd people that actually read this when I've put anything new here) asking me about it and saying 'dont worry it'll be fine you're not a screw up' and all that stuff. I totally appreciate your help but it's not a thing thats gonna be helped. That's who I am. I'll live with it or change sometime.

Anyway enough mind contorting chi draining bullmonkey. The main points on my mind are as follows:
1.) Jimmy; close friend. If I had a monkey on my shoulder, it would be him. An evil monkey at that ;)
2.) Koel's blog. I really need to demean her and desecrate her ideas in this blog. Only kidding ;). Or am I??? [cue sinister music] Actually I mean to comment on her views. For good reasons. Mostly. She always has an eye for things that truly do matter. Perhaps if everyone took her views as seriously and willingly, the world would be a better place. Or feminists would rule the world and men would be miserable genetic throwaways, slaves to the oppresive skirts. Oh wait, thats how it already is. Right.
3.) My huge (that's huge...as in Sejuuk huge...thats pretty huge for you uncultured fools) annoyance, disappointment and sheer hatred whenever I think about not having broadband. Is gaming really that big a part of my life? Am I addicted? I personally don't think I'm that bad. My dad reckons I'm hooked because I began acting like a heroin addict (thats heroin not heroine...although I do 'admire' Angelina Jolie, the chick off Lord of the Rings, Molly out of 'Neuromancer' and Jaina Proudmoore) when my dear beloved laptop Ishana had to go away to the dark recesses of the 'Continent' for a week to be fixed. Ah. Another thing to add to my future blog...the French. Stay tuned for a blog controversially worthy of Oprah. That is, if i didn't wholeheartedly despise chat shows. Ah, another idea. Wow I'm on fire tonight.

That's a pretty big entry so I think I'll leave it there. Not that I've said much of any worth. Erm. Pft tbh. Hopefully after reading all of this you will be somewhat satisfied, but as time goes on you will realise what an utter load of garbage this was and begin to hate me and PINE for another entry of worth. You vampires, always after my thoughts. Always. Never leave me alone. No. No. ...

GOD I HAVE TO MANY THINGS TO WRITE ABOUT IN HERE BUT I DON'T FEEL LIKE ADDRESSING THEM!!! AAAAAAAAARGH!!!

Peace out mortal primate spawn
[I was going to put the kirby dance here but I realised that it doesn't like you posting triangle brackets...oh the humanity. WHEN WILL THE SUFFERING END?!?!?!!?!?!?!?!?]

2004-03-10T20:38:00.000Z

Hi it's me again your friendly neighbourhood Jim.

Heard the newest whinings of Will Young on the radio a little while ago. That has to be one of the most annoying songs I've ever heard...and I was born in the 80's...There's been awful music throughout the ages...Is it just me or can nobody STAND that guys voice or how he talks? Jeezus. Someone get the nailgun :>

Whilst having a fine meal I thought I'd watch 'Kirsty's Home Videos'. How pathetic. I'm so sick of watching those things and there being the same retarded kids that you are SURE have been on there before doing a similar moronic stunt, or some old people falling off the stage and shattering their hips. It just got old around '95. That's when I thought they were mildly amusing. Now it's just the same drivel. The thing is theyre not home movies anymore. People actively go out and tape stupid stunts. GET A JOB. The way it's presented actually does my nut in too. That up herself 'Kirsty'. Someone go slap her please. Dumb *****. The worst thing, though, is when a clip comes on you hear this annoying taped audience laughing. How frigging pathetic. As if we need to be told that 'This is funny - may we suggest laughing?'. It's straight out of some godamn sound effects package I swear. They all need a slap. Not a wussy slap either.

But home movie programs are, alas, not amongst the worst things on television. TV has become such a hunk of tripe. Or is it just me? Is it just that I felt I've seen it all before or something? Perhaps there was a time when TV was good. Then again it may have just been a time when I felt I had nothing better to do and knew no better. I get the feeling that TV has gone down the pan of it's own accord too though...there will be a LOT more on this some other time...so look forward to it. DO IT...

2004-03-10T07:33:00.000Z

Well this is my first time posting and it's 11pm so don't expect great things to happen. The pessimist is never disappointed. Nor does he have hope, but meh. Without hope lies indifference. Which is pretty much my attitude towards life when I'm not being negative. It's a great way to get along...

My music preference tends to be on the rock/metal side of it all...I have a distaste for most RnB and cheesy pop/'drum n bass' does my head in. Classical can be quite good...for some strange reason I seem to enjoy music that doesn't repeatedly beat out the same old tunes, with subtly changed lyrics...Pop songs about love and boys and girls and what_you_should_do_if_you_wanna_be_hip_kiddies s*** makes me f***ing sick it really does. It's so phony it's enough to drive a guy crazy. Some songs that just sound happy and tingly for the hell of it are WRONG. YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE YOU WHACKOS. Music preference is all about opinion but it makes me sad how society is dragged along the bottom of musical talent with pop artists such as Will Young, Gareth Gates, S-club 7/8/whatever and of course the 'Cheeky girls' . I can't believe their names are even mentioned in this. I should really be ashamed to desecrate my own thoughts with the evils of pop...

RnB songs ...what annoys me sometimes is a guy that can't sing with a woman who has a fantastic voice. People that just plain can't sing. The same beats over and over again. It's all the same. And it's all crap. I respect originality and this genre has a distinct lack. Saying that, I do actually like some songs that are original and are not the same old tripe. What makes me more sick sometimes is the whole 'black gangsta be bad' attitude to some of that music. It really is sad and terrible. I really don't see the attraction to some peoples music choice. But as I said, opinion is a personal thing. This is my opinion :>. It's just a pity that the music industry has been dominated by the impressionable young teenie boppers. They make me sick. Society makes me sick.

This blogs gonna be full of MY opinion since, well, it is my blog. An insight into Jim's mind. You lucky people .